Rachel Schneider
ENG 477
Date 1/11/2021
Marsha Blackburn
A Writing Portfolio
I want to write my own fiction stories one day; I have had a book or two swimming around in my head so I will put the computer to good use and get that typed out one of these days. In this instance I chose my 5 stories and even though one is a marketing inquiry I had fun writing it, so here are my things and some background some of them.
Resume: It is a basic one because my photo ones were not particularly good, and this is an honest resume besides the ones I made for class and I did fudge on those.
Cover letter: I made up the cover letter though there is a penguin Books but it is always fun to use your imagination!
Hike with Drew: I got the concept from a Writer’s Digest and entered it into a contes I never got a response but good practice.
Short Story Vegas: Was one I did for another class but in here I changed it and the story was much better the second time.
Marketing Flyer: This was fun to do those are stock photos of the dogs and squeaky toys, but I like Pit Bulls and dog toys are fun as well.
Scott part 1-This is a story I am working on with another writer, warning its very sexy and some naughty words are in there as well.
Writing Samples: I made these three samples up one day because as I have looked for writing work, I have seen people want a sample of your work, so I came up with these.
Rachel
Schneider

3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501 📷
951-743-8911 📷
[email protected] 📷
Rachel Schneider 📷
Rachel7Tori-Twitter 📷
📷

Objective
To get a career going in the fiction/short story writing industry my imagination can run with any scenario and to write is to live.
📷

Education
Bachelor of Arts in English | Grand Canyon University
2017 – 2021
Took 15 different writing courses, creative writing and even two fun marketing classes all to polish up my craft. Carried a 3.0 GPA and did the courses all online as well.
No Degree Obtained | Riverside Community College
June 1994 – December 1996
Took these college courses but did not finish got 32 Units of Child Development Courses though which is what I was going for
📷

Experience
Cafeteria Worker 1
2008 Currently Employed.
Cook, Prep, serve food in a middle school setting, also clean, count inventory and do next day prep, cash handling and POS register experience.
Bell Ringer | Salvation Army
November 2007 – December 2007
Rang bell and collected donations for the salvation Army in front of various stores during the holiday season.
📷

Skills
Food handlers Card
CPR First Aid certified

Grammar Proficiency
Spelling Proficiency
Can work from home
📷

Activities
Have good use of social media and can help update or bring in new followers with my creative writing side. Have a Reddit account as well with 30 stories up on that site. Can speak a little Spanish and Hebrew as well.
951-743-8911
[email protected]
3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501

Rachel Schneider

Writer

Penguin Books

Dear JENNIFER MCGREGOR,

1/21/2021
Jennifer McGregor
Fiction Publisher
4587 Tropicana Rd.
Las Vegas NV 89102

I have included my resume for the short story writer for young adult novels. It has been a few years, but I currently work in a middle school, so I do see all the angst and sass that goes with being a young teen. I do hope my writing samples can help me move to the top of the list. I look forward to working with Penguin Books and letting kids know being a teen is hard at first, but it does not last forever.
Sincerely,
Rachel Schneider
Rachel Schneider
3867 Houghton Ave
Riverside CA 92501
It had been a long cold winter Drew and I could not get out for a morning hike till today. Being 75 degrees, we did not have to wear many layers. He is an extremely sweet inquisitive boy who always asks a lot of questions. Why does moss grow on the north side of trees” he asks? Its times like this when it would be nice to have my husband here, but he is overseas where the work is. “well, it’s not just the north side it’s on the shadier side because that is where the moisture is.”
On we went looking at snails on the ground watching the deer pass by along a ridge. Being quiet as to not startle them. “Mom he whispered it’s a bunny den they are coming out for food, he leaves a few carrot and lettuce scraps from last night’s dinner. I walked down the path and spotted some glorious Blue Jays and a Downey Woodpecker. “Listen Drew the woodpecker is getting the bugs out of the trees.” My sweet Drew was staring at the Bunnies, they are cute and fluffy after all. We followed our path down further after the bunnies went back to the den.
The skies were getting cloudy, so I hoped the rain was not going to come back. Though the weather report said there was a chance. My little explorer with his school uniform on was undeterred, I wish I could wear shorts on a 75 day and not be cold, it is always nice to be young. Walking along our path we spot some squirrels running in circles around the tree. “Why do the chase each other like that” Drew asks. “Maybe it’s a game for them like ring around the Rosie.”
On we trek to our favorite stream where the deer family are taking their drinks. I tell Drew we cannot skip stones right now we do not want to scare them. We look through the grass for more of his favorite bugs, saw some worms just below the dirt by a tree. Looking up we see a big spider web being made between two branches. The crows were making their calls in the distance. We are finally able to skip our stones in the stream. He gets some great skips going, and we collect some new rocks for our little garden back home.
Walking past the stream we climb up the embankment and up along the ridge where we see a Fox off in the distance. He or she walks the opposite direction we are going so it is a relief we can continue to the clearing. Where there are more bugs, rocks, and Bunnies. We pass the Deer family as they run up the hill to were, they mostly frolic or maybe they live up there. We stop for a snack of Apples, Almonds, and some cheese sticks. When we were finished Drew put a couple of slices in his pocket to feed the Bunnies, I am sure.
“Mommy we’re getting to the clearing now we can see the Bunnies and the last time Daddy, and I were here I got some neat rocks too.” Drew told ne enthusiastically, I did love his passion for nature, though again my husband is much better at the nature stuff. I am a pastry Chef ask me about desserts and I am your woman, about why moss grows on trees and hello Google. Since Dad is unavailable, I step in and let him explore and see the world outside of the house and off the screen.
It is just another half mile and it is on to the clearing. He starts to pull me hand a little harder I know he is excited. We pass under the tree I glance up and see the Fox again. Then we stop and see “Daddy home……
Name: Rachel Schneider
Course: ENG 361
Date: 4/14/2020
Instructor: Debbie Graves
One Week In Las Vegas
The countdown started Friday at 2pm I got the week off from this thing I call a job (just over broke). The car was packed, it was time to hit the road. The traffic was average and climbing the Cajon Pass was not that bad. I stopped in Baker to have my favorite meal at Bob’s Big Boy, the chili spaghetti, no onions. After making my way back on the highway the traffic picked up going out of Baker, through to Primm and Stateline. I had to stop for gas at Whiskey Pete’s, so I also went in and got some snack goodies. My favorite trail mix and some cheese potato chips because vending machines are too expensive. The road was beckoning so off I went, traveling through Jean is always nice, not much to see. A prison, a few remaining casinos, some outbuildings, and a truck stop. There slogan was always fun 40 smiles closer than Vegas. You can get bored so be sure to pack some music you can have your own car concert. “I’ll face it with a grin I’m never giving in, on with the show” (Show Must Go on by Queen)
Finally, the Vegas skyline is in sight, the lights are not on yet, but they will be needing to navigate around the strip. I do say a few words the terrible drivers. This vacation was so needed my job is crazy, my kids are older now and do not need mom around anymore. Off they went to grandma’s house and I booked the week at the Delano, it is attached to the Mandalay bay so perfect access to all the fun of the strip, and just enough luxury to not look cheap. Getting the valet to take the car I check into my genuinely nice room I have a great view of the Luxor light (that comes off the top of the hotel) and the Excalibur. Now off to indulge in that genuinely nice bathtub and get some overdue reading done. My bathroom with a view has the Luxor light and that is the brightest light on the Vegas strip it comes right out of the top of the Pyramid shaped hotel. A brightness of 42.3 billion candela, you could read a paper from 10 miles straight up if you wanted to.
Once I was well soaked and finished with my chapters it was time to find something to eat besides my snack foods. After cruising the room service options, I settled on some Mexican food of chorizo and eggs with nice corn tortillas. That hit the spot so with the extra energy it was time to get out for a stroll of the property. The indoor pool is nice but small and I want to soak up the sunshine and get some exercise so I shall hit the outdoor pool tomorrow. Back in the lobby I grab those ads for things to do in the city so I can plan out the rest of my trip. There are thousands of things to do in Vegas. Do not be disappointed if you do not get everything done, that is what the next trip is for. I have a beautiful week and I want to have a good time and not have to wait for anybody, I can do what I want. I got those and cruised up through the lobby and toward the casino on my way there I saw a sign for a food and wine festival. With that guy Zac from the travel channel. Thinking hmm I did not know he was interested in food or wine. I went down and found my favorite penny slot game Lucky cat. After 15 minutes I came out putting 20 in and winning 500, so I called it a night and went to the bar to catch a hockey game and grab a fun fruity drink (I like tequila sunrise, (Tequila, grenadine, and cranberry juice). As I am rooting for the Golden Knights (local Vegas hockey team) I looked over to my left and there was Zac from the travel channel, and he likes hockey too this is awesome, and I am trying not to be a fan girl.
The game was in intermission and the Knights were winning so it was time for a new fruity drink so this time I turned around to get back to the bar and bumped right into Zac, boy was my face red. After some apologies and an offer to buy my next fruity drink (a Strawberry Daiquiri) it was a yes and I spilled that I was a fan. He told me he does have an interest in food and wine not just chasing ghosts with his crew. We had some great conversation and when the game came back on, we both sat in the booth cheering the golden knights to their victory. Now I am buzzed and standing up was going to be fun, but Zac was a true gentleman and helped me to my feet. He offered to buy me dinner. The Taco Hut was a good place the tortillas were fresh, and the company was so cool. The conversation turned to food, wine, travel, and some stuff about me. The midnight hour rolled around, and Zac had an early morning, so we said goodnight, but he was staying one floor above me, so we agreed to go to the diner in the lobby for breakfast or brunch. At 10am I was enjoying my company and this great stick to your ribs breakfast (scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns and some great watermelon) The food offerings in Vegas are so varied you can get everything from a hot dog and beer for 1.99 at the Orleans, to a 5-star meal at Caesar’s Palace the buffets are great too. Although sometimes you want a nice sit-down dinner.
The conversation was effortless the attraction was deep. We made plans to see each other again after the food contest he was judging was over. Saying goodbye was a bit hard but the hand holding was sweet and made me feel like a schoolgirl again. After saying goodbye and I did watch him walk into the convention hall I went back to my room to plan out the rest of my day. I chose a tour of the Mob Museum, they say that Vegas was built with Mob money, but it was a Mormon founded town that later Hollywood discovered. Then many people in Hollywood who were well connected (such as East Coast mobsters) financed Bugsy Segal to build the Flamingo Hotel. As I was putting my shoes on, I got a knock on the room door and as I opened it, I got some flowers (pink roses) and an all-access pass to the food and wine festival courtesy of Zac. Let us just say the Mob Museum can wait for later I got to go to a food and wine festival and spend the rest of the week with Zac. “hi Zac thanks for the flowers it was sweet of you to remember.” He said, “It’s always right to remember a ladies flower preference because that’s the right thing to do.” Smiling the rest of the day I meet other travel channel celebrities and got to taste some great foods and many different wines. The food and wine offerings at the hotels and restaurants are varied, the Las Vegas area have become very international, so the varieties are endless.
The week went by in a blur of food, wine, conversation, and some sweet dates. I never thought I would get over the break-up that happened the week before. Getting a private Vegas tour was something completely special. I did get to see the Mob Museum, Mandalay Bay Fine Art Museum, seven magic mountains, Pinball Hall of fame and a private dinner at the food and wine festival. My days in Vegas were down to one. We had reservations at Rivera right here at the Delano the view is amazing, the food is impressive with Italian and French offers. “I have had a wonderful time this week Zac thank you for mending my broken heart.” He looked at me for a minute and said, “it’s been a pleasure to get to know you and I would not mind visiting your hometown, you always have a reason to come back to Las Vegas. The next food and wine festival is around Christmas, this one will include chocolate.” Hitting the 15 early the next morning I have visions of Christmas, a pass to the food and wine festival, also a brand-new relationship to take back home with me.
The End
When writing a short story, you want to keep it from rambling and have enough details to keep it fresh. When your reader gets into the story you want them to feel like they are there with you, going to the food and wine festival, on that hike through the seven-mountains or touring the mob museum. The details are the thing to see and make sure to watch out for punctuation and common language. An average short story is within 6,00 words or 24 pages. If you wanted too you could go short-short story and that is between 500 and 2,00 words. That comes out to be 6 pages (Minot, Steven Ch. 7 pg. 41), talk about short stories. The story is all your length and style matter as much as how you want it to come into focus.
Minot, Steven and Theil Daniel Three genres the writing of literary pose, poems and plays Ninth edition Pearson Publications 2012
Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium
August 18,2019📷📷
24755 Holly Grove Way
Brookings OR, 97415
Dear Dogs, Rule the World
I am Rachel Schneider from the Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium we make extra bouncy dog toys for our furry friends. We investigated different marketing companies and choose you to do our direct to customer marketing. The way the website is set up the customers can get the product’s directly from you is easier than a multi-level marketing plan. The distribution of Bouncy Dog Toy will be a one level channel, we will provide the toys you market, and we sell them. I would like to get some videos of our company dogs Mac and Stella playing with the toys so you can post on the website. A link for the company can also be included so the consumers know where the toys came from, what they are made of and any other facts about Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium.
Sincerely, Rachel V Schneider
Mac and Stella company dogs and testers 📷
📷 📷📷 📷A sample of our products, our bounciest toys.
Scott’s Story Part 1
I am Scott Thorn, and I am going back to WDU for the first time in 15 years, I went here for a year but after I came out as gay there really were no gay dudes. I am all men but yeah lesbians were all around some BI guys but no real gay dudes. I went back to the mainland and attended Preston University I majored in administration and minored in Literature. I did at one point in my life have a girlfriend and wanted to marry her, but I could not quash the gay lifestyle. That part of my life is over and now the old school offered me a counseling job, have not done this in a while. I get to help students toward there after college career.
I sit here on this boat and keeping an eye on my 75 Triumph I have some nerves, but it is mostly about seeing this place again, so as the boat pulls up, I get my bike going and make a stop at my new on campus apartment. Its west facing because I like sunsets more than sunrise, so I did not know it needed so much work. I have some handy skills but a little at a time. The kitchen is decent and so is the bathroom. The floors will need some polish and the deck needs to be stained, this is a duplex, so I hope the neighbors are quiet. It is furnished and done nicely so I cannot complain too much, but back on the bike to see the Dean.
I get my bike set with the kill switch and walk up the way to the Admin building, I am pretty much the only one dressed. I am wearing my good black jeans and my dress shirt, in my favorite color Maroon. I do remember this place was obsessed with sex so I will stick out wearing clothes, as I enter the building at least more admin people are dressed. Miss Grant the secretary shows me to my new office, its spacious much bigger that my last one at Preston where I shared a cubicle with another person. I have files from past students and current ones, so I started filing them when Dean Kane walks in, booty shorts and a tank top. “Welcome back to WDU Scott, we look forward to seeing you succeed you come very recommended.” I could hardly concentrate because this Dean was hung but I persevered and said, “Thank you sir I look forward to helping young students find there after WDU careers.”
After he left, I had to get my rise to settle then I continued filing and looking through some files. Clarissa Love that was a name that got around even all the way to Preston. I think she does the Jax in the bedroom or something like that. I started looking around and thought I need some life in this office so I asked Miss Grant about decorating and she said I could do what I wanted but no painting, so I went to town and checked out a flea market. I found some pictures of the beaches of Canada, some old homes in the area and a few movie posters from Rocky horror Picture Show (it is my favorite). The flea market said they will deliver to the school tomorrow so I told them I will be there at 9am.
Now with my day done I get to the store to buy some groceries and realize this place uses sextons and I was down to my last few, so now I will need to exchange but thankfully a bank is nearby so I can get some of my mainland money exchanged. I pull up to my new pad off load my few groceries and notice some other tenant left beer in the fridge, talk about luck. I got the beer went to the deck and watched the sunset over the sky. It was going to be new here, but I needed a fresh start after getting dumped and losing the job because my ex was in upper management, never will I do that again. I will find someone who does not work in the school system. After I ate a roast beef and cheddar sandwich for dinner, watched some cooking shows it was time for bed. As I was brushing my teeth, I heard the neighbors having sex. Oh, goody they are not quiet. hope they do not have super energy either. Tomorrow is my first full day and I have decorating to do, fantastic they stopped, that is the thing with us older people we do not fuck like bunnies anymore. As far as I know the neighbors are lesbians so who knows.
Sample 1- If I try my hardest, I could muster up enough courage to ask the prettiest girl in school to prom. I had a suit; bolo tie and I will shine my old boots up. The thing is my courage is not as strong as my best friend Nick, now there is one brave dude who just asked the girl I wanted to go to prom with and of course she said yes. I gather myself close my locker and put on my best smile for them both. Nick and I high five and I hug her, trying to be genuine but it is hard. I head to my Social studies class and sit down next to Megan she looks at me with some concern I tell her what happened, she then asks me to Prom…...
Sample 2-Wishing I did not have to be here I sit at the back of the funeral and think about my old high school principal. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone, we only had one school and you went there for kindergarten through senior year. After my graduation I packed up my old car and headed out to what I thought was the real world. Living in a bigger city only helped spur my loneliness so who says you cannot come home again, well Mom for starters because I abandoned my family, I am not welcome at home ever again (so tired of her drama), so I am staying at Principal Mason’s house yes, the same principal that I am at a funeral for I held her hand as she lay there succumbing to cancer……
Sample 3-If you really want to get over a breakup getting back on the horse will help things along. I thought that too seven lousy dates ago so here I am on date number 8 and I am not seeing any birds singing or rainbows in the sky. He steps away to take a call he is a particularly important lawyer after all (I need to fix my picker) after he comes back, he says it go time the jury has come back so off he goes. I finish my drink and head back to my brownstone close by, I pass the new chocolate shop that just opened, and I get inside and see chocolate heaven. Looking around I do not see him at first but there he is my old college lab partner Sam I just saw a rainbow…….

General feedback (pt 1)

I labeled this as "pt 1" not because I immediately have a part 2 coming any time soon, but because I haven't actually played the game a ton yet, but I plan to play it quite a bit more and expect to have more feedback. I love SimAirport, and SimCasino had been on my wishlist for a while, so I'm glad it has finally made it to early access.
This will largely be a list of (hopefully constructive) criticism. I am enjoying the game. And to be clear, almost all the feedback I have are things I view as pretty minor and not greatly impacting my ability to enjoy the game so far, but definitely some areas that can use some polish.

I'd like a fullscreen windowed mode or just for the game to not minimize when I alt-tab out.
It bothers me a little bit that the main menu is shoved all the way to the left edge of the screen. When I click settings on the main menu it appropriately jumps to the middle of the screen.
There's not a way to delete profiles in-game as far as I can tell. I just have to click to browse the same files and delete them the way I'd delete any other file on my computer.
There are no tutorials. But there's a button for them, so it's clear to me the devs have them planned, so that's good.
Scheduling is confusing to me. It's clear that several of my employees don't need to be around from 3am to 9am approximately, but I don't easily understand how to set specific schedules for specific workers in specific areas. Maybe I'll rewatch the GreenGemini video where he was doing it. Or wait for a tutorial.
The Daily P&L sheet confuses me. This one I think I'll talk about in a comment down below and maybe someone can help with a breakdown of an example P&L sheet. Hopefully the devs can take a look at that conversation and find a way to make improvements here.
The Bank Loans tab is at first glance slightly confusing. I don't know what it looks like if I have a an actual loan in, but when I first viewed the page, I was trying to click on "Loan Payoff", "Daily Payment", etc. thinking they were different tabs within the Bank Loan tab I could look at. This is probably largely because I don't have any outstanding loans so it was less obvious that they were, as I now know, column headers. Maybe the whole "Existing Bank Loans" section could be hidden if I don't have any loans?
Guest Experience, I haven't spent much time on this tab. I'd kind of like the Marketing/Demographics in one place and the current Guest Needs in a different place. As for demographics, I'd kind of like to see more information than just who is currently in the casino somehow. Like... I'd somehow like to have an idea of what my potential target clientele is and use that as a guide to help me understand how I should grow in the future, assuming I'm meeting the needs of my current guests. Have I largely tapped out the available Gambler market and the remaining real grown is in Entertainment? or Business?
Gambling Hub - The "Complimentary" feels like it could have some more customization. Meanwhile, the Gambling Statistics section confuses me similar to the Daily P&L, so maybe that's something that can be discussed in detail in a comment.
Entertainment - I haven't yet built a theater, so I'm only looking at the Bingo section of this tab. I think I've got the Bingo mechanics worked out, but I think this screen is slightly ambiguous as to what's going on, so this is perhaps another thing to discuss in detail in a comment. With this one, I'll post a comment explaining my understanding of Bingo just to check for confirmation that I understand it correctly.
Transportation tab seems straight-forward enough. Although it's not clear to me how I'd know when I need more frequent garbage pick ups... other than just noticing my garbage is piling up?
Maintenance tab also seems straight forward enough. I'm not sure I've gotten far enough to feel the need to mess with this much, although ideally this is a tab that you generally don't have to mess with much unless you're minmaxing something?
Staff Management tab - this wholly confuses me. I need a tutorial and an adult.
Research - This tab is very straight-forward. But I have two criticisms here. First, I can't tell when a research has been completed and I can't queue up future researches. I'd like a notification when a research completes and to be able to add research into a queue. Second, I wish the tree were deeper. Ideally, even something like SimAirport where I need different people in different roles to research different parts of different trees. For example, instead of either having or not having table games.... maybe you can just start with Blackjack, the most standard of all table games. And you don't get to modify anything about the blackjack, it's just a single deck with basic betting rules. But you can go down the research tree to unlock things about blackjack (more decks, different betting rules like splitting, doubling, insurance, ante, etc.) or you could unlock individual other table games. Poker potentially should start with the original 5 card draw rather than Hold'em, and the different poker variants should be researched. I also think poker should work more similarly to Bingo actually... (I.. visit Vegas regularly... I've played a lot of poker both in Vegas and other American casinos... I could elaborate a lot on how I'd like to see poker and poker rooms work in the game). Maybe my opinion on what the research tree could look like deserves its whole own post...
The Casino Valuation tab seems fine.
I want an underground layer. In Vegas its super common for the casinos to have some underground areas and that's just talking about areas accessible to the public... it doesn't even account for the fact that there are certainly plenty of staff only areas underground... like the vaults? I'd want to put vault, storage, staff rooms, security offices, etc. underground. Plus I'd like tunnels to connect different casino buildings for guests and then decorate the lawn outside with fountains or whatever.
Has anyone noticed how big the trees in the background are?
I'd like to be able to make custom fountains (think Belagio).
I'd like pools and pool bars.
I'd like vaults to be... more... vault like... not just some shelving behind a staff door waiting for Danny Ocean.
Some music/dance clubs would be cool (casinos in Vegas tend to have these either as an alternative to or in addition to theaters).
Can I please expand the tiny windows I have to select walls/floors in? The information windows can be expanded.
Also, can I have more than one information open at once please? Let me look at my P&L sheet while I look at gambling statistics.
In Las Vegas, some casinos (Caesar's Palace, Venetian come to mind) have full on shopping malls integrated into them... maybe this is a future DLC?

I'm going to stop here for now. Like I said, there will be more in the future. I am enjoying the game and am exciting to see it develop. The three comments to discuss in detail will come a bit later as I have a few things I need to do at the moment.

My ancestry and a Jungian perspective on white guilt

My family tree only goes back to Katinka, my grandma’s grandma who was born in Bucești in the middle of the 19th century. I first learned about her after complaining to my grandma about Western-style furniture, and how I wanted cushions, carpets and low-rise tables instead of clunky chairs and bulky sofas that atrophy my muscles. She explained that my interior design aspirations, drawn from Moroccan and Japanese culture, were in fact quite common in the Romanian countryside owing to the long history of Ottoman/Turkish influence.
My surprise was compounded by learning that the most iconic Romanian dish, sarmale, is also of Turkish origin, although they pilfered it from the Persians. The confusion continues with mămăligă, the most crucial staple in the country (often paired with sarmale) which served as Katinka’s main subsistence. Mămăligă, as you might have guessed, also comes from the Ottoman empire, but with a twisted pedigree, since the Ottomans found it in African grain markets, which were supplied by Spanish and Portuguese explorers, who grabbed it from Mexican farmers, who learned maize cultivation from ancient Picosans in the Colorado Plateau.
A few years after I was born, the Romanian Orthodox Church canonized a 15th century prince (of what was then Moldavia) as Ștefan cel Mare și Sfânt, or, Stephen the Great and Holy. His legacy is strongly tied to the brave and skillful way he managed to thwart the Turks, and by extension Islam, although he simply categorized them as pagans and wanted to ‘cut off [their] right hand’. In Vaslui, a 2 hour drive away from Katinka’s town, Ștefan defeated Mehmed II’s Ottoman army in a cinematic victory, where they triumphed despite being outnumbered three to one by 120,000 troops. My favourite detail about this event is how Mara Branković, Mehmed II’s stepmother, pulled a Lady Tremaine and cruelly rubbed the loss in his face, calling it the greatest defeat in Ottoman history.

Of Popes & Princes

Although the fight was motivated by Mehmed II’s greed for power and territory, Ștefan played up the religious angle and wrote to various European rulers reminding them that Moldavia is the gateway to the Christian world, and they would do well to help protect the faith, although they all wound up ignoring him. Ștefan also wrote to Pope Sixtus IV (born Francesco della Rovere) for help, hoping he’d find a more sympathetic ear since Rovere had declared a new crusade on the Ottomans as soon as he became pope. Rovere lavished compliments on Ștefan, calling him ‘the true defender of the Christian faith’ and titling him Champion of Christ. This makes Rovere look like a little bit like a naive idiot, duped by Ștefan’s political ambition.
Della Rovere was actually way more shrewd and ambitious than Ștefan could ever hope to be, and the fact that no practical aid was ever given to Ștefan is a clue that the Pope was just blowing smoke up princely butts. Rovere’s famous crusade on the Ottomans was dropped right after he won control of the city he wanted, making it clear his goal was acquisitive rather than ideological, and afterwards he focused on practical considerations like putting his friends and family into positions of power.
Anyway, back to Katinka, the Church didn’t really seem to be that big of an influence in Romania, even in the last few hundred years. I was surprised to learn that up to the 18th century, marriage in Romanian villages was pretty casual in a way that reminds me of the secular attitude couples have in 21st century Toronto. Moving in with someone was enough to establish a commitment, and moving out was accepted as separation. There were no legalistic documents or official church certificates, just a practical union of two people’s assets and families.
This matches the description of my grandma’s parents and their distinctly unromantic union, with her mother essentially resigning herself to the fact that she needs to live with a man and pump out some kids. The Church eventually began to force people to visit the capital of Bucharest for divorce tribunals so they could keep track of what was going on and collect fees. What I love about this is the wildly baroque language in court documents, which would sometimes open with statements like, ‘with scalding tears I beseech thee’. Those lawyers earned their exorbitant fees.

Baby Steps

The darkest story I’ve heard from a family member in regards to the Church shows that not all women were willing to accept their fate to become mothers. He told me that a pile of infant skeletons was found next to a defunct local church, where the priest had been secretly disposing of unwanted babies. When I repeated this story to my grandmother, she was shocked, but went on to tell me that unwanted children were a big problem in the countryside.
She explained that Katinka often helped young women that wanted abortions or developed severe infections as a result of botched attempts, despite the absolute illegality of aborting fetuses, which was punishable by lengthy prison terms. Prostitution and weed were legal though; did Romanians love to party, but hate the consequences? It wasn’t until 1937, a few years after my grandmother was born, that the law made some concessions to women and allowed abortions if the mother’s life was in danger, or if there was a chance of ‘insanity’ being passed on to the fetus.
The insanity clause was more of a ploy by doctors to extort bribes from desperate women in exchange for a phony certificate. In 1966 the communist dictator Nicolae Ceaușescu reverted to the original 1865 full ban on abortion, eventually turning Romanian orphanages into what Robert Sapolsky called ‘the study subjects of choice for understanding the consequences of massive sensory, intellectual, and emotional deprivation in infants and children‘. The corresponding increase in clandestine abortions also resulted in catastrophic rise in the death of pregnant women.
Katinka was unusual in that she was a widely respected healer in her village, offering the services of a physician, physiotherapist, psychologist, pharmacist, and fortune teller all at once. Most Romanian women in the 19th century were housewives, and would sometimes earn money on the side by knitting, doing people’s laundry, serving booze in pubs, helping in shops, or becoming domestic servants for the rich. However, like the vast majority of Romanian women in the 19th century, Katinka was illiterate. In 1899, it was estimated that only about 4.5% of Romanian women in the countryside could read and write, and 26% of the men, abysmal compared to the rest of Europe. Since peasants didn’t have the skills to write anything down, it explains why my ancestry only goes back four generations. Coincidentally, the birth of Romania as a nation goes back just as far as the birth of Katinka, to the union of Moldavia and Wallachia in 1859.

Charlie’s Angle

In the scientific world, 1859 is famous for Charles Darwin’s publication of The Origin of Species. Although he is commonly said to have invented the idea of evolution, Darwin was by no means the one to come up with the idea. Even Darwin’s own grandfather Erasmus speculated that all warm-blooded animals share a common ancestor. But it was Charles and his co-discover Alfred Russell Wallace who finally came up with a detailed explanation of its actual mechanism. Some 2500 years before Darwin, ancient Greek philosophers like Anaximander suggested that life came from the water and evolved from fish-like creatures, after he saw the variety of ways that sharks gave birth, figuring that that they must have changed over time.
Although there are many components to the theory of natural selection, the basic idea is stunningly simple, stating that any variety of creature that isn’t able to reproduce successfully gets killed off, and successful traits get passed on. There’s more to it than that, but on the surface it’s pretty obvious, and when it comes to non-human animals, it’s easy enough to accept for most people. Heraclitus, writing shortly after Anaximander, talked about the key role that death played in the formation of life, although he’s most famous for his pithy remarks on how change characterizes the natural world. But even Wallace, who independently discovered natural selection, had lingering skepticism that foreshadowed modern cognitive dissonance on the subject. He believed that evolution by natural selection accounted for all of the different creatures on the planet, but the one thing that it could not explain was… the human brain.
In 2018, Nicolae Hurduc (the Romanian Minister for Research and Innovation) said he could not imagine how human beings could be related to monkeys. Although he conceded that there’s enormous genetic overlap with monkeys, and that they’re sentient, he still believes that human bodies are essentially different in some way. Strangely enough, he even used the crude reductionist terminology of machines to describe the miracle of the human body. So what’s his solution to this riddle of biology? It’s that human beings come from a parallel world from the future. When pressed for details he said it’s not possible to explain, and anyway, the answer would itself be mysterious, since no one truly understands quantum mechanics.
Waving around quantum theory to support wacky ideas is nothing special, but what’s fascinating to me about Hurduc’s Future People Theory is that it’s strikingly similar to what other Romanians in my family believe about human origins. The thing is, they’re all highly educated people, so the fact they believe such an absurd idea is indicative that there’s something more going on than just a lack of available information, or Communism’s legacy of trying to look away from the past.
After Darwin, it looked like the entire biological world is actually governed by bottom-up principles consisting of molecules and impersonal natural forces that are in constant flux. One of Darwin’s critics, Robert Beverly Mackenzie, indignantly paraphrased the theory of natural selection as suggesting that ‘in order to make a perfect and beautiful machine, it is not requisite to know how to make it‘. This is, in fact, the crazy idea that natural selection implies, and put this way, it’s no wonder people continue to oppose it, even when the evidence is beyond question. In this light, the idea that human beings come from the future is a return to the pre-Darwinian universe, where complex things are made by even more complex things. In the secular version of this return, the source of human identity is placed in an inconceivably advanced technology like time-travel, rather than a deity.

Cold, Old River

Alongside the counter-intuitive nature of Darwin’s idea is the uncomfortable dissolution of boundaries that it inspires. Just as a solid national identity begins to melt as one goes back in time, biological identity becomes slowly transformed into something unrecognizable. When I last visited the Royal Ontario Museum and browsed through the Mesozoic fossils, some part of me just couldn’t parse what I saw into a coherent narrative. Part of me even doubted their reality. With a 3 pound brain, it’s kind of impossible to make sense of trillions of deaths over billions of years, with the vast majority of all species going extinct forever. It gives my life a sense of unbearably potent meaning, along with a bewildering insignificance. It scrambles my inner circuits. Bertold Brecht’s poem only touches on a slight drop of this sentiment:
Who built the seven gates of Thebes? The books are filled with names of kings. Was it the kings who hauled the craggy blocks of stone? And Babylon, so many times destroyed. Who built the city up each time? In which of Lima’s houses, That city glittering with gold, lived those who built it? In the evening when the Chinese wall was finished Where did the masons go? Imperial Rome is full of arcs of triumph. Who reared them up? Over whom did the Caesars triumph? Byzantium lives in song. Were all her dwellings palaces? And even in Atlantis of the legend The night the seas rushed in, The drowning men still bellowed for their slaves. Young Alexander conquered India. He alone? Caesar beat the Gauls. Was there not even a cook in his army? Phillip of Spain wept as his fleet was sunk and destroyed. Were there no other tears? Frederick the Second triumphed in the Seven Years War. Who triumphed with him? Each page a victory At whose expense the victory ball? Every ten years a great man. Who paid the bill? So many particulars. So many questions.
I think that part of what motivates the fixation on salient figures, events and epochs is the attempt not to be swallowed up in the abyss of history, composed of countless anonymous and long-forgotten people that migrated from one place to another in hopes of living a decent life. Identifying with great figures and nations creates a tie to a supratemporal entity with greater status than any one member can hope to achieve in their lifetime.
I’m not immune to this; I feel a tinge of instinctive pride when I see a Romanian last name attached to someone in a position of power and respect, like it finally proves my own potential for success, as if an imaginary boundary drawn 160 years ago pooled me in a team against the rest of the world. My minor Greco-Italian roots tempt me to lay claim to beautiful art as if I’d been holding the chisel or the brush myself. Admittedly, the ability to identify with an arbitrary mass of strangers in the form of a nation or ethnicity is probably a necessary step to an even broader concern.

Caravan of Tears

Refusing to claim a clearly defined territory is characteristic of the Roma people, more commonly known as gypsies in the English speaking world and țigani in Romania. In conversations with Romanians from an old generation, I tend to brace myself for something outrageous whenever țigani are mentioned. They’re generally seen as the dregs of society, notorious for their criminal activity and refusal to assimilate into their nation’s culture. When I was 12, I visited Romania after having spent my childhood in Belgium and Canada, and one of the first things I saw was a chubby, shirtless țigan, approximately my own age, offering to clean our taxi car’s window while shivering in the middle of winter. Although to me this was a shocking breakdown of society, the taxi driver was more cynical and saw it as a ploy to pull heartstrings for a quick buck.
In paraphrasing anthropologist Michael Stewart, Diana Appelbaum explains that:
Roma think of their trading activity as the clever outwitting of dull-minded non-Roma. A Roma woman who collects discarded plastic twine behind a factory, lugs it to a village market and sells it to a farmer for tying up grape vines, looks to us like a person who does hard, dirty work for a pittance. However, since she got the twine for nothing and sold it without paying taxes to a farmer foolish enough to pay cash, she and her family see the exchange as an example of the wit and cunning that enable Roma to live without working. Such activities validate the Roma self-conception as a people so clever that they live freely, unlike the oafish hard-working farmers tied to their lands. This understanding stands in stark contrast to the Roma reality of extreme poverty, and it also makes it difficult for Roma who do take regular jobs to maintain their self-esteem and standing within [their] communities.
But even in their attempt for assimilation, the Roma encounter problems. A teacher in the north of England paints a grim picture:
“When I read the exclusion statistics concerning the mass exclusions of the Slovak Roma children, I had to admit to myself that in fifty years working as teacher, head teacher, educationalist and teacher trainer in Canada, Trinidad and Tobago, Mozambique, East London, Grenada, Sheffield and Manchester, I had never encountered such outright, blatant and unacknowledged institutional racism in education.”
He goes on to cite testimony from Slovak Roma and the way that black, brown and white children were united in abusing them and telling them to go back to where they came from, which in their case is particularly ironic given their nomadic lifestyle and history.

Whitey

When I went to a Janice Jo Lee concert in Toronto’s Kensington Market a few years ago, I knew her as the artist who recorded Take a Walk With Me, a sweet song introduced to me by my then-partner. A quirky bonus feature of this concert was that in-between songs, the audience was treated to racist rhetoric targeting ‘white people’. I felt that speaking up in any way or drawing attention to it would mean further derailing the show, so my instinct was to shut up and take it. But as a budding migraine progressed and I heard yet another comment, I didn’t have the strength to tolerate it further, so I walked out of the show, bracing for either a conflict with Lee or my partner.
Luckily for my delicate constitution, no such conflict came. But the incident got me wondering about the meaning of ‘white’, especially since Lee’s Korean ancestry meant she was even paler than I was given my summer tan. Apparently, the slipperiness of the term was a problem early on in its usage. In the Naturalization Act of 1790, only ‘free white people’ were allowed to be citizens, although ‘white’ was actually reserved for people of very specific national origins, not just light-skinned Europeans. Anglo-Saxons & Nordics were at the top of the list, whereas people from Eastern and Southern Europe were seen as risks for polluting the gene pool. As time went on, the criteria for ‘white’ became more relaxed, and prompted some people from more distant nations to argue for their whiteness.
In the case of Takao Ozawa v. United States from 1922, Justice Sutherland argued that while Ozawa may be both free and light-skinned, he was not strictly speaking Caucasian, which invalidated his claim to whiteness. Inspired by this, an Indian Sikh by the name of Bhagat Singh Thing went to court and cited anthropological literature that validated his claim to Caucasian origins. However, Sutherland said that while he may be free and Caucasian in a technical sense, he isn’t white.

True North

Canadian immigration laws in the late 19th century were similar and prioritized the same kind of people, especially those from Scotland, England, the U.S., the Netherlands, and the Scandinavian countries. That being said, the Canadian Minister of the Interior wanted to include some people from Eastern Europe because of their agricultural skill and ability to face the harsh conditions of the Prairies:
When I speak of quality I have in mind, I think, something that is quite different from what is in the mind of the average writer or speaker upon the question of Immigration. I think a stalwart peasant in a sheep-skin coat, born on the soil, whose forefathers have been farmers for ten generations, with a stout wife and a half-dozen children, is good quality.
At the start of 1923, both Eastern-Europeans and Asians were seen as a kind of strong animal, useful for providing food to the country, so they were allowed in as farm labourers. But on July 1st, a.k.a. ‘Humiliation Day’, prohibitions on Asian immigration were severely tightened and would only get worse in 1930, until they calmed a little more 17 years later from mounting pressure. It wasn’t until the 1960’s that Canada started to reconsider racially motivated immigration policies, and it would take until 1978 for the modern image of Canadian immigration to emerge, which prioritized uniting families, helping refugees, and growing the economy. Given such a tolerant immigration policy, by the 1990’s, both Korean and Romanian immigration spiked, and even allowed my humble family to immigrate in 1995.
Along with Canada’s fresh new beginning was the attempt to right the wrongs of the past by establishing Employment Equity. To do this, they inverted Justice Sutherland’s ruling, so anyone who could be reasonably considered non-white was given the bureaucratic stamp of being disadvantaged. Official policy uses the same terminology Sutherland did, referring to “persons, other than Aboriginal people, who are non-Caucasian in race or non-white in colour“. I’m disappointed in the use of Caucasian, since it’s not only a pseudoscientific term, but its origin is explicitly racist and was designed to disparage dark-skinned people from Africa. Nevermind the fact that ‘black’ is one category, even though Africa has by far the greatest genetic diversity of anywhere in the world.
Just as Takao and Bhagat struggled to be classified as white, immigrants would now have to be careful to dissociate themselves from whiteness. The Canadian census forbids people from identifying as ‘mixed’, since ancestry has be explicitly reported in distinct categories for esoteric Canadian race calculus, where “persons who reported ‘Latin American’ and ‘White,’ ‘Arab’ and ‘White,’ or ‘West Asian’ and ‘White’ have been excluded from the visible minority population. Likewise, persons who reported ‘Latin American,’ ‘Arab’ or ‘West Asian’ and who provided a European write-in response such as ‘French’ have been excluded from the visible minority population as well.”

Jung Hearts Be Free

As a Romanian that lives in Koreatown North, I hated being lumped in with Lee’s ‘white people’. It was a harsh reminder that in the real world, it’s prison rules: you gotta pick a side. To quote the anonymous Nihilist #2 from The Big Lebowski: It’s not faaiiir! My first instinct was to indignantly join the victim hierarchy game and play the Romanian refugee card, but I figured there must be a less slimy alternative. Is there anything valuable in the concept of ‘white guilt’? Even though it seemed like an incoherent and useless self-flagellation, I found that Jung’s perspectives on Nazism helped me wrap my head around it.
While he was traveling in India after revelations of Auschwitz & Buchenwald were made public, Jung figured his Swiss passport would sufficiently protect him from being tainted by German atrocities. But as he pointed out, for an Indian this was clearly an event of European civilization. “How would we react if an Indian pointed out indignantly that India’s black spot lay not in Travancore but in Hyderabad?“, he asked. Psychological collective guilt doesn’t care about individual culpability, it’s a kind of ‘magical uncleanness‘ that disregards reason.
Because of its deeply emotional character, it’s much more intimate for people than particulars about who did what. Collective psychological guilt wipes out individual moral details, and its mirror image is the frenzy of the mob, which removes individual responsibility. In part, he locates the origin of such massive social moral failure in Europe’s scientific disenchantment. While spirits and deities were human projections onto nature, science’s obliteration of them meant that they would begin to hide inside the minds of Europeans:
“Just when people were congratulating themselves on having abolished all spooks, it turned out that instead of haunting the attic or old ruins the spooks were flitting about in the heads of apparently normal Europeans. Tyrannical, obsessive, intoxicating ideas and delusions were abroad everywhere, and people began to believe the most absurd things, just as the possessed do.“
This complex of spooks, which Jung unifies as the God of Terror, was perfectly clear in the tyrannical obsessions that continued to take place in Europe. In the eyes of my family, Communism has blighted Romania and caused them to permanently dissociate themselves from the country. Instead of a new era of scientific enlightenment, the self-congratulatory abolition of ‘spooks’ in communist Romania accompanied a near breakdown of society. It’s only a few jumps to get to discriminatory practices in early Canadian history by European settlers, and the contemptible dehumanization of African bodies in the slave trade.
Jung has an ugly strain of racism in his work that exaggerates the special nature of Europeans (described in detail by Farhad Dalal) but I can be more cosmopolitan and suggest that susceptibility to tyranny is not endemic to Europe. For example, a Korean friend expressed strong horror at the human experimentation performed by the Japanese during WWII, saying they were Nazis of Asia. Jung brings up a Pueblo chieftain’s view of Americans/white people as a crazy, possessed race, since they think with their head and not their hearts, which Jung concedes. But I think that’s corny, and I don’t see how one Pueblo chieftain can speak for a vast tradition going back 7,000 years to the birth of Picosa culture.
However, Jung’s goal in outlining the pathological character of Europeans and their collective guilt in the Nazi genocide is to get readers to look closely at their own psychology, to come to terms with the true contents inside. This is far from easy. The mass hysteria that led to the torture and execution of millions by the Nazis is horrific precisely because the people involved were ordinary citizens in an advanced, well-ordered society. All it took was an aberrant idea, along with a personality to voice it, and the dark forces inhabiting human psychology crept through the continent. Such a strain of guilt is not so much concerned with atonement and blessings, but with individuation.

Goodbye, Katinka

I have an extensive journal with plenty of moments of hatred and prejudice that I’m trying to transform into an art project, and it’s painful to see that side of myself, although also kind of entertaining. If I lacked any such shadow, what worth would my virtue have?
Ta-Nehisi Coates has a section in Between the World and Me where he describes wishing death upon hundreds of innocent emergency responders on 9/11, because his innocent friend got killed by a cop in Baltimore. He also compares the Manhattan slave holders to Bin Laden, adding that no American is innocent because of this legacy.
This toxic hatred is outrageous, but engaging at the same time. As someone who rails against the unreflective demonization of groups, he lyrically shows the reader that he is just as capable of it himself. Although I reject his justification, his honesty holds the key to individual moral development. If I were to criticize Lee’s racist rhetoric in this light, it would be that she is not hateful enough, that her shadow is too hidden from her art.
Two thousand years ago, Plutarch praised Socrates for his claim that he’s not an Athenian or a Greek, but rather a citizen of the world. Besides the cringeworthy We Are the World, what comes to mind in response to this idea is that it’s a lame attempt to erase historic, institutional, and economic power imbalances. A real slam dunk, eh? But such criticism is as old as the claim itself. The tension between philosophical ideals and reality is embedded in Plato’s Republic, and contemporaries like Aristophanes wrote entire plays mocking Socrates and portraying him as a useless, out of touch nerd that doesn’t contribute anything to society.
Despite the difficulty of finding Truth, I think that the tradition of the philosopher gives an identity really worth having. It knows no dogma, no spatial boundaries, includes thousands of years, plenty of languages, and compels me to know every human story, take pride in all human accomplishments, as well as feel guilt and shame for every disgusting action perpetrated by others. I can choose to make both Democritus and Frederick Douglass my ancestors.
It’s also an identity that guarantees strife. After all, even if Socrates did remove himself from a myopic group identity (I dunno where Plutarch found that quote tho), he was nonetheless put to death for corrupting his society. Heraclitus died alone, covered in shit, and ripped apart by dogs.
At the end of her life, Katinka moved back in with her son John, migrating to a nearby village called Malu Alb and slept in the same bed as my grandma in a cramped house shared with 8 other people. In the middle of the night, she woke up screaming “John!”, fell out of bed, and died.
My grandma was a young child at the time and it must have been deeply traumatic, although she claims it was an important example of how death can be swift and relatively painless. With this in mind, it might not be death that we should worry about, but what Jung called the God of Terror, which is lodged in our souls and can quickly sink the world into hell. Fearing such a God is the beginning of wisdom—but only the beginning.

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Japanese Actions for Part 2

JAPANESE ACTIONS FOR PART 2
DIPLOMACY
ALLIANCE [Nobody]
DEFENSIVE PACT Wiryeseong
NON-AGGRESSION PACT Wiryeseong, Maratha, Shuri
FRIENDSHIP Wiryeseong, Manchu, Maratha, Shuri, Song
OPEN BORDERS [Nobody]
DENOUNCING Mongols, Harbin, Ulan-Ude, Mob_cleaner
WAR [Nobody]
NO ACTIVITY Canton, Taungoo, Tibet
DEMAND VASSALIZATION Wiryeseong, Shuri
DEMAND TRIBUTE Wiryeseong, Shuri
GIVE [Nothing] to [Nobody]
EVENT
Option 2: Wait a second, if we were a government that governed more, maybe they'd like us instead of those troublemakers! (Gain a free Social Policy.)
CITY CONTROL
Caesars_legion2: Tokyo
Tefmon: Kyoto
Supacharjed: Osaka
Lordie_Staven: [Nothing]
SCIENCE
[Nothing]
SOCIAL POLICIES
[Nothing]
ACTION POINTS
14 AP total [10 base, 2 from Korea’s tribute, 2 from Ryukyu’s tribute]
5 AP on 1 Settler Northeast of Tokyo.
5 AP on 1 Settler South of Osaka.
2 AP on 1 Worker Northeast of Kyoto.
2 AP on 1 Shrine of Kyoto [Contingency: (a) 1 Shrine in Tokyo; (b) 1 Shine in Osaka; (c) 1 Monument of Kyoto; (d) 1 Monument in Tokyo; (e) 1 Monument in Osaka; (f) 1 random unbuilt building in any of our cities; (g) 1 plot point for Plot 1].
TREASURY
57 initial gold
+12 gold from Korea’s tribute in Part 1
+12 gold from Ryukyu’s tribute in Part 1
+14 gold from Korea’s tribute in Part 2
+14 gold from Ryukyu’s tribute in Part 2
109 gold total
-77 gold for +11 on Plot 2
-21 gold for +3 on Plot 1
4 gold remaining
PLOTS
Plot 1: Inoue Yoshika’s Impromptu Ninjutsu Training
RP: As Dainagon to His Imperial Majesty Tennō Hajimari I the Glorious, Emperor and Heavenly Sovereign of Japan and all else under Heaven, Suzerain over the Tributary Kingdoms of Goguryeo, Baekje, Silla, and Ryukyu, and over the Tributary Confederacy of Gaya, advisor to the Emperor in matters both personal and political, The Right Honourable Inoue Yoshika, before leaving on his nautical research expedition to Mongolia, feels compelled to venture forth to the cities that he would now be helping administrate. Whilst visiting the city of Kyoto, he takes a day trip to the west of the city, during which a sudden storm causes him to lose his bearings in the low visibility. He keeps riding, unaware of how much time had passed, until he finds himself in lands covered in thick fog, through which he could see some strange, white buildings. He approaches, and is stopped by a strange man, dressed all in black. “Welcome, Yoshika-san, to Ida, my school, and the home of the ninja.” Without a word, the man strides away, and equally silently, Yoshika follows. As he walks into the walls surrounding the buildings, he sees many people, all demonstrating remarkable skill, some creating snares, others throwing stone blades at targets, and much more. The guide, seeing Yoshika’s expression, turns to face him. “Do you like what you see, Dainagon?” Yoshika nods. “It's incredible what you do here. I would wish to learn some of your ways,” he replies. The guide laughs, and spins on his heel. Waving a hand, he calls back, “Then perhaps that could be arranged.”
Upon his return to Kyoto, over a fortnight after his disappearance, Yoshika is greeted by the Emperor, personally organizing search parties to look for his Dainagon. Tennō Hajimari observes, as they make for Tokyo once more, that Yoshika is even quieter and more reserved than normal. “All the better to hear everything else, and for nobody to hear me coming.” After Yoshika relays what he had seen to the council, a party is sent westwards, but nothing is found bar impenetrable mists. The Dainagon himself rises before dawn daily to hone his skills in private before the day begins. Yoshika’s skill acquired in the subdiscipline of shurikenjutsu have also led to him becoming quite the celebrity, due to his weekly combination of cuisine and that art—the performance of “free meals, chopped from a distance”, hits off like storm with the people in Tokyo, although whether this comes from the spectacle or the free meals is yet to be established.
Invested: 21 gold
Result: Lordie_Staven trains in the Ninjutsu martial art.
Plot 2: I’m On A (Stolen) Boat!
RP: His Serene Highness Daimyō Shiba no Taneie the Just, Kampaku to His Imperial Majesty Tennō Hajimari, Daijō-daijin of the Heavenly Empire of Japan, the foremost expert in the Imperial Court on matters of science and technology, as well on the governments of and happening in nations foreign to Japan, and The Right Honourable Inoue Yoshika, Dainagon of the Heavenly Empire of Japan, the secretive and morally-questionable special projects advisor to the Imperial Court, the two most trusted and cunning councillors in the service of His Imperial Majesty Tennō Hajimari I the Glorious, Emperor and Heavenly Sovereign of Japan and all else under Heaven, Suzerain over the Tributary Kingdoms of Goguryeo, Baekje, Silla, and Ryukyu, and over the Tributary Confederacy of Gaya, don their stealthy hooded black robes and make their way to the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is Karakorum, capital “city” of the vile barbarian tribe that presumptuously refers to themselves as the “Khanate of Mongolia”, in order to steal the secrets of elementary seamanship and marine engineering from the secret government laboratories of those landlocked nomadic hordes.
After a long and strenuous journey, especially given their lack of boats to cross the Sea of Japan to the Eurasian mainland, their lack of maps showing the way to their destination, and their lack of knowledge that Mongolia even existed, the two senior government officials, using their combined knowledge of the arcane and mighty martial arts of Bushido and Ninjutsu, creep through Karakorum’s city bounds at nightfall, and then sneakily skulk their way towards the the city’s skunkworks district. Once there, they diligently ransack the place, stuffing as many boat-related document and schematics as can fit into their voluminous black robes, and inspecting and committing to memory the structural details of the partially-constructed prototypes. They then hastily exfiltrate the scene, and make their way back to the Imperial Palace in Tokyo to disseminate their newfound knowledge amongst the Imperial Court.
Invested: Tefmon, Lordie_Staven, 77 gold
Result: Japan steals the secrets of the Sailing technology from the Mongols.
Plot 3: Hire A Samurai
RP: The Lord Daimyō Nagato Meiji, Sei-i Taishōgun of the Heavenly Empire of Japan, the foremost military commander of the glorious armies and navies of His Imperial Majesty Tennō Hajimari I the Glorious, Emperor and Heavenly Sovereign of Japan and all else under Heaven, Suzerain over the Tributary Kingdoms of Goguryeo, Baekje, Silla, and Ryukyu, and over the Tributary Confederacy of Gaya, sets out on his lifelong dream of creating a professional Japanese warrior class, to form a competent, loyal recruiting pool for his armies, and to further the glory of martial skills and values throughout the Empire. As the recent seclusion of certain senior government officials, including Tennō Hajimari himself, to devote themselves fully to mastering their martial arts of choice has lead to a minor power vacuum in the outlying settlements of the Empire, allowing petty warlords and bandit chiefs to attempt to expand their influence, Sei-i Taishōgun Meiji reasons that now is the perfect time to act, by transforming these warlike peoples into the first generation of Samurai.
Sei-i Taishōgun Meiji thusly leads his contingent of household guards from his Shogunal Citadel at Osaka to round up those wayward warriors, promising them land, coin, and glory as Imperially-sanctioned warriors, in exchange for swearing eternal fealty to the Emperor and his Empire, and for following the code of Bushido. Those who agree are given small estates in the countryside to govern, or a modest stipend from the Imperial coffers, and are trained by Sei-i Taishōgun Meiji’s personal household guard in proper warfare, as well as in etiquette, honourable conduct, and other noble pursuits, while those who refuse are executed without mercy, and their mutilated corpses displayed publicly to discourage further treason.
Invested: Supacharjed, 1 Warrior Northeast of Osaka
Result: A professional warrior caste known as the Samurai is established. Japan gains a plot preparation bonus on future plots involving the Samurai.
Plot 4: Pirating the Pirates
RP: His Imperial Majesty Tennō Hajimari I the Glorious, Emperor and Heavenly Sovereign of Japan and all else under Heaven, Suzerain over the Tributary Kingdoms of Goguryeo, Baekje, Silla, and Ryukyu, and over the Tributary Confederacy of Gaya, as the divinely-ordained ruler of all in this Earthly domain, is understandably frustrated by the vast swaths of land, people, and gold currently controlled by heretical rebel scum. As a fervent believer in righteousness and justice, Tennō Hajimari obviously seeks to remedy this unacceptable situation, personally.
As the first step of his grand plan to unite all treasuries under Heaven into his one true treasury, Tennō Hajimari, a man of action, despite his exalted position, dons his stealthy black robe and journeys towards the shanty town of Canton, a wretched hive of scum and villainy well known for harbouring bands of vile pirates, and other assorted lowlife criminal scum. He then, under the dark of night, easily slips past the lax security guarding the city, and makes his way to a mostly deserted tavern, known locally as the best place to spend your stolen coin. He then ransacks the place, stuffing as much golden doubloons and pieces of eight as can fit into his voluminous robes, and then sneaks out of the city with prudent haste, and makes his way back to his Imperial Palace in Tokyo, where he deposits the freshly-liberated gold into his vast treasury vaults.
Invested: Caesars-legion2
Result: Japan steals as much gold as possible from the Cantonese treasury.

[Table] IAmA: [AMA] I Set the Hotel Room Rates for the Las Vegas Strip...Ask me how to snag a deal or AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2015-11-22
Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Is timing ever important when booking rooms? I know the day before a flight takes off, rates sometimes drop dramatically so that all seats are sold.	Timing is hard!
	If a convention drops out last minute, we have to drop the rates to fill the rooms they had blocked off.
	A prime example is the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight weekend.
	The fight was announced and we sold out all of our hotels because reservations were coming in like crazy. We couldn't control it. So we opened up one room type at a stupid rate, $1,600 per night. Reservations were still coming in. HOWEVER, no tickets for the fight had been released or even available to the public. People were booking without tickets (a stupid decision if you ask me). Once tickets were released to the public, a few days before the fight, everyone cancelled their rooms. Rates were $1,000 one minute then down to $100 the next. We knew that is was going to happen, but we didn't know how many tickets would be released etc. It was a clusterfuck of a weekend for sure.
	This is the best representation of that from the fight weekend: Link to i.imgur.com
Did you ever make mistakes the other way, like posting rooms for $1.07, and if so did the property honor those rates? On average, what percentage of room inventory is usually booked vs. sitting empty?	Mistakes are made constantly! We also audit constantly to catch them.
	My worst mistake was setting a suite to $66/night for Friday and Saturday over EDC Weekend. The rate should have been $660. It wasn't caught until the next day. Because it went out to our OTA's, over 1,000 reservations came in for that suite - that hotel didn't even have 1,000 of that room type. When those guests checked in, they were most likely moved to a lower level room with inventory. However, we will try and accommodate.
	It totaled over $120,000 in lost revenue.
	Rates won't go out that low. We have some parameters in place to prevent that. For example, the hotel that I screwed up - the lowest possible rate at that hotel was $55 - so they system didn't catch a $66 rate. Anything below $55 wouldn't have gone out.
Isnt it cheapest to use priceline? Plane ticket and hotel packages always seem to be a few hundred less and you can still get FF miles.	Airlines are a bit different. They can wholesale their rates to OTAs. We give Priceline an amount, then the airline gives them an amount, then Priceline adds those values together for your "Package Deal". Our wholesale rates to OTAs are the same across the board, it's the airlines that fuck it up.
	Little do people know that the hotel chains have those Air + Hotel too!
	Link to www.mgmresortsvacations.com
	Link to totalrewardsvacations.com
	Our "Package Deal" rates are anywhere from $0 - $20/nt off what the standard rate is. I think it's always best to search around and book separate.
Have you ever accomodated a top celebrity?	Very rarely will we know when we do.
	Most celebrities stay under an alias or a managers name. Ariana Grande uses a different fake name EVERY TIME - which makes it a pain for our VIP Staff/Butlers.
	Celebrities/Presidents/Politicians do not get special room rates - but they may get a room that isn't offered. For example, Jamie Foxx was put into a suite when they were 'sold out' to the public. The booking of these high status guests are usually handled by foreign affairs or an executive VIP agent.
What software do you use to help decide prices? How much human judgement is there in the process?	There's a lot of human judgement!
	The problem with current hotel revenue management systems is that they don't recognize sister properties.
	So if we had to walk 500 people from one property to another, the system can't recognize that and adjust accordingly.
	We mainly use Excel and SAS. Analysts stay with properties for a long time then learn how a hotel books. We have a lower end hotel on the strip that will have 50% occupancy then over night be at 110%.
So if we had to walk 500 people from one property to another.	A walk is when we 'walk' someone to another property. We book our hotels OVER 100% occupancy because we expect a 10% no-show rate. However, sometimes that 10% shows up. So we have to find available rooms for them at another property. We give them their room at the other property free and offer a generous F&B credit. We pay for the taxi ride and bellmen to deliver their luggage.
What hotel would you suggest for someone who's never been to Vegas and on a budget? My friends just got back from Vegas yesterday and I always wanted to go. Also, what attractions would you suggest and see(unless its absolutely must see?)	If you're on that much of a budget, look at staying downtown! Downtown has some really awesome hotels - The D is my favorite.
	On strip, just remember, you are getting what you pay for. If you book the $20 room at Circus Circus, know you'll be in the detached motel rooms and have a terrible time. If you can pony up and stay at a place like New York-New York or Planet Hollywood, your experience will be much better.
	I highly suggest Absinthe at Caesars Palace! It's my all time favorite show. I'd see it over and over again.
What about near the strip but still near the places you wanna go?	You should check out Wyndham Grand Desert. It's off strip, no resort fee, and offers a free shuttle. Their two bedroom suites usually go for $180/nt - which on strip would be upwards of $300+.
How did you work your way into hospitality revenue management in Vegas? Kudos to you for doing so in such a competitive town in terms of that industry!	Vegas is a very competitive industry - especially Revenue Management. Revenue Analysts jump all over the city though, so it's a very small group of people who know each other.
	I was a hotel engineer before! I went to room calls and fixed things.
	RM is about problem solving really, and I learned how to trouble shoot from engineering.
	I also met a high level executive on Grindr and talked with him for months - which I believe may have helped me. I never met him until I started the job.
What is the best luxury hotel that wont make your wallet bleed in Las Vegas? Is there any Kimpton hotels in Vegas?	No Kimton's (according to their website).
	Personally, I love Mandalay Bay. The room rates are very decent. The rooms just finished a remodels and are quite big for standard hotel rooms. Plus you have the amazing beach, wave pool, lazy river, Foundation Room at the top, and concerts galore.
	Just keep in mind - you get what you pay for =]
Any notable stories of people claiming ridiculous reservations that were never actually offered? Alternatively, what is the oldest coupon you had to accept?	We have a woman that books 5 or 6 high level suites at our most luxury property. She books them on the most expensive dates a few months out, then always cancels them the week before. We've never seen her come in and she has never stayed. It's like she was trying to have us hold $20K for her, then refund her. We've reported it, but not sure what's happened.
There isn't a non-refundable deposit for that? Or is she cancelling early enough to avoid penalties?	Canceling early enough - you're reservation is refundable up to 2 to 3 days before!
In my experience, when push comes to shove, the hotel must deal with the entities that booked the room, which technically isn't you. I flew into NYC one time and had to deal with someone in Fiji to get my rental car released because I switched airports	When you book with an online travel agent (OTA), you are not a guest of the hotel - you're a guest of the OTA. The hotel really can't do anything for you - you are faced with the burden of contacting the OTA on your own.
	Rates must be the same due to contracts with OTAs. Some OTAs may experience downtime or lag which will show a different in rates between OTAs. But when you click 'Book Now', the site will re-cache and your rates will update.
Do you know if most resorts do a price watch? I.E. If we book and rates drop would they drop or do they remain the same?	Rates fluctuate quite often. If you book and prices drop, your prices will stay the same. However, if you call in, Im sure a reservations agent would adjust them down. Cause if you're outside of the cancellation window, you can just cancel your room and re-book at a lower price.
Why don't the hotels cater to locals (or do they?) in an effort to get better viral marketing? I travel quite a bit for work, and every time I get on a plane to come home, the person sitting next to me immediately start asking me for recommendations for shows to see, hotels to stay at etc.	We do market to locals, and all of our hotels have local discounts. Vegas locals get room discounts, discounts on restaurants, 50% off show tickets, and a ton more.
	Living in Vegas is great because they really do appreciate the locals. Over half of this city works in the hospitality industry, so they keep us happy!
Is there a secret handshake or sign up page? Aside from the offer that Cirque runs each year, I've never seen locals offers advertised.	Link to www.mgmresorts.com
	Link to www.caesars.com
How can I snag a deal?	See my original post.
	Sign up for the guestbook, follow the social media accounts, and Google! But remember, always book direct.
	November and December also have the best rates as it is the slower season.
Why booking direct? I haven't tried specifically in Vegas, but I have definitely seen hotels cost more on their website then on a site like hotwire/expedia/priceline.	Because Online Travel Agents (OTA's) get a commission off bookings around 15%. So for a $100 room night, we would give an OTA $15. And when you book though an OTA, you are a guest of theirs, not the hotels. Kinda strange right?
	The hotel receives NO information about you other than your name, room type, and check-in/out dates. Have a problem with your reservation? The hotel can't do anything.

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[Table] IAmA: I am Drew Carey, AMAA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-11-15
Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
I used to stay up every night in high school watching Whose Line and laughing myself silly! Thanks for the AMA. Have to ask, what scene from Whose Line has been your favorite and why?	Again I don't' like choosing a favorite anything because then I have to rank my experiences and I think it's silly to rank them. That said I really do love the Richard Simmons clip.But it's silly to rank favorite movies, favorite cars, because every day is a different day or a different moment and if you start living like that you start clinging to the past and holding onto it.People always ask me what my favorite this or that is and I never have an answer for them because once the moment is gone it's gone even if you take a picture. If you take a picture of a moment, your moment was taking the picture. People don't enjoy the moment trying to preserve it. Why don't you enjoy the concert or eat the meal or enjoy the concert rather than trying to capture it.I've had people on TPIR when they make it to the showcase they will ask if they can get a picture with me after the show and I say "we are on TV together, getting sixty pictures a second, just take a screenshot of your TV".
Hey Drew, one simple question...Why isn't the Drew Carey show on Netflix?	It's all the music rights and all that stuff. They don't think they will make their money back by releasing the series on Netflix so they just don't.
How did it feel replacing someone as iconic as Bob Barker? How did you get the job in the first place?	I did a pilot for a gameshow called the power of ten that was on CBS. I was kind of retired at the time I did the pilot, and this guy I had worked with before was doing the pilot, so I did it as a lark.And CBS saw the pilot, and that probably got on their radar and so they asked me to be the host on the Price is Right.
	I thought it was a big deal to be replacing Bob!One of the biggest deals I've ever done in my life practically. I was well aware of how important the show was and how iconic it was to millions of people, and what Bob meant to everybody.I wanted to come in and just not get it cancelled.Everybody was afraid including the staff that the show was going to go away when Bob was gone, so I had to go in there.Exercise in letting go of fear.I couldn't go in there and say "don't screw this up", I was totally able to block out any judgement from anybody. Literally at that moment I did not care if anybody liked it or not.It was an exercise in freeing myself to concentrate on doing my job. It's not that I don't care what people think, but a friend of mine came up with a great saying "you have to care enough not to care".You have to not care what the audience is going to think of you, you have to not care if they will like you or agree with you, and by doing that you care about what the audience is experiencing because if they put any kind of fear in you it won't be as good and the audience won't have as good of a time.
	The really great rock and roll performers act like idiots onstage. If you were to take that out of context, they are acting crazy. You have to be at a spot in your head where you are fearless and because of that you are giving them a better show.So I was in a good spot mentally when I started doing TPIR where I was not afraid of anything and I Just went out there and did it.
	If I wasn't like that I don't think I could have done it.
Do you have any advice for keeping a pool table outside?	Yes, buy an outdoor pool table.
What's your very best life advice?	Learn how to set goals.
	That includes designing your own success.You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal,it's yours.
	People think automatically "oh I don't want to make money" or reach other people's goals. It's not what your relatives want you to do or what society wants you to do. All goal setting is is figuring out what you want to do with your life, so whether you want to be a CEO or the happiest hippy in the world, set goals. I was totally lost in my life until I figured out how to set goals.So from my perspective it's the most important thing you can do. There are tons of goal setting books out there and you can get good advice from any of them (I mentioned two of them earlier).
	My big goal which I never do perfectly is to forgive everybody in advance. That is the state I want to be in that I am never in. To have so much love that no matter what people do to you it does not bother me for a second.It would bother me for months when people used to insult me or get in my way or whatever I thought was an attack or a slight. It would bother me for months, weeks, depending on what the thing is. I've whittled it down to moments, minutes, something really horrible maybe a week. I try to make it as short as I can (I'm not Jesus or Buddha) but it's a state of constant forgiveness and love.
	Learn to set goals and try to strive for that state of perfection (I hate saying this because people can say Oh you got mad at this person but it's a state I want to achieve before I die, I have another fifty years to work on it). Once you start to think it's a good thing to do, with goals and having a mind state of being loving and forgiving,it will change how you interact with people and society. I wished I lived it as good as I preach it!
How many Drews would Drew Carey carry, if Drew Carey could carry Drews?	Heeheeehee.
Hi Drew! I grew up watching your sitcom, Whose Line, and The Price is Right (both with you and Bob). Thanks for doing an AMA. It's the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and you can have one cast member each from your sitcom, Whose Line, and TPIR on your side. Which three people would you pick?	From the sitcom, Mimi because she's the best fighter. I'd pick Wayne Brady from Whose Line because he's really good at paintball. And from TPIR Mike Richards the producer. We're good at planning things together.
What's your least favorite game on TPIR, and why is it That's Too Much?	I don't have a least favorite game. Any game that people win, I like.
One of the best changes TPIR has made with you as host is the on-air chemistry between you, the announcer, and the models. Do you ever hang out with them outside of work? What do you miss most about working with Rich Fields? What do you like most about working with George Gray?	I loved Rich Fields, he was a great guy. And we do hang out outside of work, we've traveled together, we've gone to dinner together, we've gone to parties together, we try to hang out as much as we can. I try to keep it like family. George is really funny during the audience tapings, but that never makes it to air.
We've seen you around in Cleveland before. Do celebrities prefer just a subtle head nod or a "hey drew! Rock on" type of thing?	Either way. As long as it's positive. It's always positive with me, so whatever you're comfortable with.And anybody who doesn't like it should get out of show business. If people just want to compliment you or acknowledge you did something good, just take it and say thank you.It's like the easiest part of my day.
	But it depends on the situation, just feel it out socially. Take it by situation to situation.
Could you shed some more light on your military service? Specifically, what compelled you to enlist and what was the worst moment during your time in the Marines?	I was only in the reserves in the eighties. I don't like to make a big deal out of it, everybody makes a bigger deal out of it than I do.I joke that I kept the commies out of Ohio. We did a great job until the battle of Overland. I went to bootcamp and then went to do my weekend every month and then when I started doing standup I got out.
How heavy is the big wheel?	It's heavier than you think. It's made out of plywood and you will notice that some people struggle to get it to go around all the way at least once.So it's not impossibly heavy but it's heavier than you think it is when you go to spin it around. It COULD be lighter.If I could remake the wheel I would remake it out of plastic but I think it's made out of particle board.
Dirty Jokes and Beer was incredibly fun to read. You are such a great storyteller and your honesty was wonderful. Thanks for taking over The Price is Right - you're a total class act on that show, Drew :) I hope you dig the job, because we love seeing you on there!	And I LOVE doing TPIR. It's a great place to work,everybody is happy all the time,it's a great atmosphere to be in, you are surrounded by happiness all day. It's really insane how lucky I am.
What's your favorite beer? other then buzz beer of course.	Well I don't drink anymore really.Once in a while a few times of year I might have a drink..And I just always drink Budweiser? Maybe that's why I don't drink beer anymore. If I was a bar right now and wanted a beer I'd just order a Budweiser because I don't know any better.
Big fan of yours ever since your first Showtime special. On Penn's Sunday School, I was amazed to hear about your passions for board games, mainly Monopoly. Are there any other board games you have an equal passion for? Also, what are you best tips to win at Monopoly?	Love board games. RISK I love. Sitting right now in front of me I bought a bunch of games that I used to play in junior high and high school.
	They are Avalon Hill games. One is called Tactics 2, I have a game called Rise and Decline of the Third Reich where you fight WW2, I have another game called 1776 with a bunch of cardboard counters, the rule books say "copyright 1934"
	You move your little cardboard tokens around, it's like War Dungeons and Dragons. These board games were out when D and D were out, so I think people went one way or another way,and I went towards playing these games. I like all these all old Avalon Hill games but Monopoly and RISK are my favorites.
	Here's the key to Monopoly winning: You are not trying to get the most money. You are trying to get everyone else to spend money.It's about making them lose money. Don't ever let anybody get the orange ones except for you.Don't ever fucking give away the orange ones, because once someone gets the orange ones, the game is over.You want to get the properties furthest away from go, so orange and red. People don't land on Boardwalk and Park place that often but they land on orange and red all the time.
	There are books that can teach you the odds and frequency of things getting landed on, things like that, but in general you want the properties furthest away. Baby blues are good, yellows are not good. purple is okay you have to really watch the chance cards, those are the cards that really move you around the board. Railroads are great, they won't win the game for you, but they are handy. Same with utilities but I like the railroads better. They are good for taking money away from people. The idea is to bankrupt the other people and the baby blues are what chip away at everybody's wealth as you move around the board. The greens are the WORST property you can ever get in monopoly. Always get rid of the fucking greens. Because they are the worst. I will get rid of greens all day long. Somebody might get lucky and build up a green and wipe out someone if they land on it but it's pure luck.
	You can tell I've thought a lot about Monopoly.
Who has been your favorite contestant on the price is right? Also your parents and I used to be neighbors ;)	That's good about my mom being your neighbor. I'm not lying when I say that every single show there's a contestant that everybody falls in love with. Every.single.show.Where backstage we will all say "Oh that person is so great" so it's impossible to pick a favorite. We do three shows a week and there is always somebody the crew falls in love with.
Hi Drew! Thanks for doing this. One of my favorite little-known facts is that you publish sports photography under the pseudonym Brooks Parkenridge. How big a part of your life is that, and do you think it's something you would have liked to pursue as a full-time occupation?	I loved it. It was a great part of my life. I don't know if I could do it full time because it does not pay that great. The pay would be great if I were broke but I got a lot of bills. Sports photographers get paid pretty well but not sitcom money. You can make more money doing sitcoms and standup comedy,but as a hobby it is really fun.
Hi! Is there a significance to the bracelet you wear on your left wrist, if you don't mind sharing?	I wear a bunch of different bracelets and I change them all the time so not really. They are all decorative.
Whats your favourite dirty joke?	Oh man I have so many favorites! There's one that doesn't work unless it's dirty and it's about a guy who hears a voice in his head and the voice tells him to quit his job and sell his house and take all the money to go to Vegas. So he does that and when he gets off the plane, the voice tells him to go to Caesar's palace. He follows the voice's instructions, goes to the roulette table, bets everything on Black 17, the wheel comes up on Red 16, and the voice says "FUCK!"
	I've tried saying it where the voice says "darn it" and it's not as funny. Has to be a swear word because it's such a huge disappointment you need the swear word for the emphasis.
Do you usually watch the Seattle Sounders games? If you do, who's your favorite player?	I don't have a favorite player, I root for the whole team. It would be bad for me to have a favorite player. It's such a team game, I like it when the team comes together, and I watch every game that I can even if it's on my phone in a comedy club.
Would you ever consider going on Norm MacDonalds 'talk show'? Did you guys keep in touch after he was on the Drew Carey show? You should totally go on his 'talk show'! Thanks for the AMA, keep being awesome Mr Carey!	I like Norm a lot, so sure. Are you the booking agent for Norm MacDonald's talk show? My publicist will get in contact with you.
As the original U.S. run of Whose Line progressed, you seemed to get better and better at playing improv games with the other guys. Would you ever come back for an episode, not as host, but as the fourth chair? That would be the greatest episode ever.	I don't know about Whose Line.I like the improv but I'm just so busy right now I don't see how it's going to happen.
Also, is this the year the Browns finally make the playoffs?	I don't know if the Browns are going to make the playoffs. That's a tough one, because there are so many injuries.Who knows!
Hi Drew! As an improvisor myself, what is some advice for improv in general? And how did you get your start in comedy?	The best advice for improv and all performing is to let go of every single fear in the world. Fear is the biggest killer for any improv comedy.Because people are afraid to look foolish they are afraid to do something wrong, to make a mistake or be judged by people watching them, so that hurts you in acting, comedy, improv… kills it. The biggest thing is not have any fear.Don't worry about a thing.It's hard to tell people and it's a hard thing to come to but the best improv performers have the least amount of fear, they are literally fearless.
Thanks so much for doing this AMA! I'm a huge fan of the show and I have grown up with it(literally-I'm only 16!) :) you rock my socks.	I got started in standup? I got encouragement early on from a friend of mine who's a radio disc jockey, he would pay me to write jokes and so I went to the good ol' Cleveland public library and got a book on how to write jokes.
Hello, Mr. Carey. I was curious as to who your favorite up-and-coming comedians are?	Some guys that I work with are really funny: Ryan Hamilton is super funny and super clean. Like totally G rated,his whole act, which you NEVER see anymore,EVER. To be that funny and that clean is amazing to watch. Brendan Walsh is really funny but he's not clean. I like the usual Kevin Hart, Louis C.K., Chris Rock,the usual suspects.
I'll never forget your "dirty jokes and beer" book.	There's one that is not in the book, again I can't pick a favorite but…
Do you have a new all time favorite dick joke?	My dick is so big, when I go to Disneyland, families agree to meet in front of it in case they get lost.
Drew, you look great. Has it been challenging to stay low carb? I mean you know - beer!	Well it's hard on the road you know? Sometimes you get stuck on a plane or an airport where you just go "fuckit" and traveling can make it hard to do. I was just in Vermont in a really idyllic place,and I yelped a place for breakfast near where I was. The restaurant made their own maple syrup right on the premises. And I was like "Fuckit" and ordered pancakes and maple syrup. And the rest of the day I was off the rails on sugar.I had cookies on the plane, I had boston cream pie at the airport,and all I was doing was sitting around or driving or flying for twelve hours. That made it tough to be super strict because I was bored, bummed out I had had the pancakes why not add onto it. Sometimes I will get in a cycle where it gets me down for that day but I'm good the next day. Or I will be in cycle where I will gain ten pounds, lose ten pounds,gain ten pounds. I'm not perfect with it but I'm a lot better than I was. If I'm by myself and at home it's no trouble at all, but if I'm traveling that's when I have trouble staying lowcarb. Because there is no grocery store,no healthy restaurant so you're stuck eating whatever is around.
	I try to eat as healthy as I can and live to fight another day. Don't ever say you're the wordt person in the world. Right now at my desk I'm surrounded by a bottle of water, an open bag of carrots and a couple Quest protein bars with one gram of sugar, seventeen grams of fiber and twenty one grams of protein, three grams of net carbs.
Hey Drew! Do you remember getting coffee late night at Kenny King's when you use to live in the Cleveland area? My relatives said my grandpa use to enjoy going up there and talk with the people sitting at the counter.	Yes! Kenny King's was my hangout back in the day. I used to go there all the time but I think they are all out of business now.It was this awesome family-style restaurant in Cleveland, a diner-style small chain,and they had a license to sell Kentucky Fried Chicken. So there would be a KFC to-go thing attached on the side,but if you went inside the diner you could get coffee, pie,regular mashed potatoes, eggs,bacon, it was awesome.We wouldn't say "let's go get KFC, let's go get Kenny King's." I always thought KFC was Kenny King's but they just got a license to sell in their restaurants.It was fun while it lasted.
A few years ago you recommended a couple of books by Og Mandino on Twitter. What other books are your favorites/have impacted you?	I like see you At the top by Zig Zigler. And think and grow rich, that's like the grandaddy of them all. Both the books are corny but have great information in them.
Do you miss doing sitcoms? Any faves of what's new on tv now?	I don't miss doing sitcoms. I'm the kind of guy who just likes what he is doing when he is doing it. So I don't host TPIR and go home and say "gosh I wish I could have been on a sitcom today". I don't really watch sitcoms after doing them because doing them ruined them for me, I can see where the jokes are coming from and all I can think of is what rehearsal is like. I can't let myself relax and enjoy them.
	I watch The Walking Dead, Mad Men, almost all the AMC shows. American Horror Story, GoT when it's on. And that's it.Once in a while I will watch Eastbound and Down if it's on.
How can I convince people that Cleveland is awesome and that I'm not crazy for planning to move back?	I would love to move back to Cleveland so you don't need to convince me.If it wasn't for my job I don't think I would be living out in California.Although I have traveled a lot I can think of places I'd live besides Cleveland, but I really do miss Cleveland all the time.
	But it's weird, I never thought I'd be in a situation where my geographic location has so much to do with my job. But for what I do, you have to live in LA.
Hey Mr. Carey, what's your favorite movie?	Comedy, drama, what? Let's go with comedy since I'm a comedian.
	Big Lebowski,the original Producers. Boogie Nights is a great movie. Borat is one of my favorite comedies, any Monty Python movie is a good movie (Meaning of Life), Team America…Ferris Bueller.
Loved the Price time-lapse. Are you considering doing more behind the scenes stuff in the upcoming future?	Yes it would be great. The time-lapse thing though cost me a lot of money,I did it myself, it was not an official TPIR project so it came out of my own pocket. It turned out great though. TPIR is going to be featured in another really cool music video by the end of the year. Can't tell you who because I'm not allowed to but it will be great.
Hey Drew! A long time ago on the Drew Carey Show you met people from "The easy street band". Not Bruce Springsteens, but a smaller local band from Ohio. What do you remember about them? I ask because one of the guitarists was my father.	Yes they were a really popular band in Cleveland and as far as I know they still play out, so of course I do! Tell your dad I say hi.
Drew always-stunningly-handsome-and-uproariously-funny Carey! It's 11pm. You're alone in the house and starvinating. You can have anything you want to eat. Anything in the world, even shit they don't make any more. No (negative) repercussions. What do you have?	Pepperoni pizza, Oreos and ice cream.
Hey Drew! Thanks for doing an AMA! You are awesome! What's your favorite game on Price is Right?	I don't have a favorite. I get asked that a lot. I like games where people win, so as I'm playing the game, if they win, then all of a sudden I love that game. They are all good games. The game doesn't matter to me, it's how people play it.
What joke that you made do you look back and say to yourself, "How did I ever come up with that?"	That's like half my act. Hard to say! Way too many.
My sister is going to see Price is Right for her honeymoon!! Do you have any advice to help her get on the show or do well if she does?	Yes somebody on Slate just published an article on how to beat a lot of the games that was pretty good, although everybody at TPIR saw it. I would read that. Also I tell people to look at the Sunday paper because it has car prices in it. Look at the TOTAL price of the car not at the payment price. Just look at the general price of the car so you know how much Toyotas and Hondas and Fords are if you're trying to get a car. And to get on the show you have to be super energetic, positive and happy. Genuinely. From the minute you show up, and then hope for the best. We can only use nine people per show and we always have way more people than that who show up for a taping. You do have to be super lively and positive and look like you would go bananas if you get picked. If you fake it or try too hard, they will pick somebody else instead of you.
What got you into performance arts? Do you ever partake in other art forms like painting or music?	Yes I was just playing my accordion the other night (I can see it from where I'm sitting). I'm not good at it but I am teaching myself. I am learning to play guitar.A couple years ago I took a class called introduction to figure drawing where I learned how to draw and how to sketch. I was a stick figure drawer before I took the class so I'm convinced that anyone can learn how to draw. I don't draw enough,I get bummed out I don't get to bring my sketchbook places. But that's the thing about me,is that I would feel self-conscious about having people say "Oh there's Drew Carey what is he sketching?" My teacher in the class said for us to take our sketchbook out and do a bunch of drawings but good luck to me doing that. But it was really fun and I'd love to take other art lessons. Really enjoyed it. I took a photoshop class one time,I'm pretty good at photoshop and I do photography. I would love to do more sports photography. There's a lot of stuff I would liked to do if I had more time. But writing, drawing, playing music,I have aptitudes to do those things.
Drew! Cincinnati native here. Do people in Cleveland hate that Cincinnati is the ultimately cooler city? Obviously, this is like saying breast cancer is a cooler form of cancer than another, but then again this is an AMA.	No people don't hate Cincinnati because it's a cooler city. They just hate Cincinnati.
Drew! Thanks for doing this! What are some of the things you like to do when you're not on television?	I like to read. I've been playing SimCity lately and playing Minecraft sometimes. I watch documentaries and hang out with my friends.I like to do homebody things, maybe meet people for dinner.I like going to concerts and stuff but the idea of going out in a big crowd and raving it up does not appeal to me. If I'm in Vegas at a concert I will get a table just so I can enjoy the music in my own little bubble, but the idea of going out and doing something really crazy,I just don't like that. I used to like it.But I get so much attention from being on TV all day that attention is the last thing I want. So I look for low-key things to do. I will go to improv shows locally sometimes.
Hey Drew, thanks for doing the AMA! I was wondering if you could share any fun stories of your days with Delta Tau Delta to a fellow alum? Thanks again for taking the time to do this AMA!	Well I was at Kent State University and fraternities weren't the most popular things back then because I started college in 75 and the Kent State shootings were only five years before. So anything with any connection to the establishment was not popular.All fraternities were really small, I think we only had nineteen guys in our chapter,we only had sixteen at one point and then jolted up to twenty-four at another point.There was one fraternity that had thirty people and we thought that they would let anybody in! For me it was just a lot of drinking.I was almost a functioning alcoholic when I was in college.
Hey, Drew! I was shopping in an Arizona grocery store last month where I saw someone who I'm 90% sure was you. Any chance it was?	No, not in the month of October. I was not in Arizona. I have not been in Arizona in a while, certainly not in the last month. Sorry.
But it depends on the situation, just feel it out socially. Take it by situation to situation.
Pepperoni pizza, Oreos and ice cream.	I also love the healthy stuff I eat though. These Quest protein bars are fucking great and I love the protein shakes I make.They are just almond milk and protein mix,sometimes I will throw a banana in there,those are really tasty to me.
Just wanted to shout out that my Girlfriend ran the Marine Half with you a few years ago. She said it was an amazing experience.	Yes it was. I also did the Marine Corps Marathon. They are both great races especially if you are a beginning runner. The Marine Corps marathon is a great first marathon to do.Really well organized, everybody is really helpful and friendly. If nothing else, Marines are really good at organizing things. Beautiful scenery all around Washington DC, amazing. I would love to do it again. The next marathon I am going to do is the Boston Marathon in April.
	Peter Sagal from Wait Wait Don't Tell me on NPR talked me into doing it with him. He is a big marathon runner.

Last updated: 2013-11-19 22:05 UTC
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is caesars palace pool open to the public video

Caesars Palace Las Vegas Pool Hours of Operation. Pool Hours of Operation. Garden of the Gods Pool hours are 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. daily. Admission: The Garden of the Gods Las Vegas Pool complex is FREE to all hotel guests of Caesars Palace and Nobu Hotel. Hotel guests are allowed up to 2 complimentary admissions per hotel key. I've gone to Vegas several times in Feb, staying at Paris, and always enjoyed spending time in the hot tub during the morning/early afternoon hours. This Feb we're staying at Caesars Palace for a week and have received conflicting answers. Called Total Rewards only the Venus pool is open, website states only the Venus pool is open, called the Featuring seven different pool experiences, Garden of the Gods allows you to choose your own experience with exclusive pools, decadent cabanas and lavish sunbathing spots. It is your choice to party #LikeACaesar with us every weekend. Whether you bow before the gods of the sun or the water, a pool day at Caesars Palace is a royal treat. having been to caesars yearly for the past 8 years i was so dissapointed to find out when i went in september that the pools were open to the public. all the sun beds were full. a dj was on around 1 pool so the music was booming and clashing with the light music around the main pool. people were drunk which is not the usual caesars style .it totally spoilt our holiday, we found out it was a Caesars Palace: The Venus Pool is open for all ages during the winter. It’s no longer a European style (top optional) pool. Circus Circus: Pool is open daily for now. That could change when the sale goes through. Cosmopolitan: The Chelsea pool is open for the winter. The Boulevard pool is used for special events like ice skating and movies. The Venus pool at Caesars Palace is free to the public. http://www.lasvegasadvisor.com/party.cfm >Cool Pools >Venus pool - Caesars Palace. Caesars Palace - Venus pool "Open to the Public" 9am-6pm.... having been to caesars yearly for the past 8 years i was so dissapointed to find out when i went in september that the pools were open to the public. all the sun beds were full. a dj was on around 1 pool so the music was booming and clashing with the light music around the main pool. people were drunk which is not the usual caesars style .it totally spoilt our holiday, we found out it was a The most reliable place for accurate and unbiased hotel reviews. Oyster.com secret investigators tell all about Caesars Palace. Browse real photos from our stay. Vegas pools the general public can access for a fee: Caesars Palace Garden of the Gods: The beautiful pool complex at Caesars is free for guests staying on property, however, non-hotel guests are able to gain access for $20. Circa: Stadium Swim at Circa is accessible to guests not staying at the property for a flat $10 cover charge. Our suggestion? Open to: Caesars Palace hotel guests (also open to non-hotel guests for a fee; entrance is not guaranteed and is subject to availability). Hours: Open daily; 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Any other time of the year Venus European Pool Lounge is an adult-only, “top-tional” pool.

Las Vegas Pools Open in Winter at Vegas Strip Hotels

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