Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

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Casino Superlines Review

Casino Superlines is a relatively new online casino, established in 2017. It is owned and operated by Equinox Dynamic N.V., a company registered in Curacao. Equinox Dynamic is also certified by the local gambling authorities to conduct gambling operations and carries a license from the government.
The Superlines brand is one of the main properties of the company and one of their more successful online casinos. Since it was released to the general public, Casino Superlines has only increased in popularity. This is due to the fact that it offers a solid gambling experience and is available to a wide player base. There are hundreds of slots and table games on offer, allowing anyone to have a good time. Moreover, the casino also provides players with worthwhile promotions and supports a large number of payment services, thereby making it easy for anyone to quickly come on board. In this review, we will take a look at the major aspects of Casino Superlines and provide you with our honest feedback.

Casino Superlines Promotions and Bonuses

The Welcome Package Casino Superlines will give you the opportunity to greatly increase your bankroll over the first few deposits. Your first deposit will be matched an amazing 400% up to €1,000. Effectively, you will have five times the deposit amount to play with. When you make your second deposit, the percentage match is humbler than the previous one but still pretty good. The second part of the offer involves a 100% match up to €1,000, while the third bonus is a 200% match up to €1,000. All in all, you can get up to €3,000 in bonus funds and that is absolutely great. Of course, you will need to deposit a minimum of €20 each time to get your bonus.
Additionally, there are certain rules that you have to follow if you want to get the most out of your bonus. For one, there is a wagering requirement that you have to fulfil before you are allowed to withdraw the funds which amounts to 45 times the value of the bonus. For the purposes of the wagering, your maximum bet will be limited to €5.00 at a time and exceeding this cap may result in the invalidation of the bonus. Moreover, the requirement can only be met while playing slots and scratchcards, with table games and other game types being excluded. Additionally, specific slot titles have reduced contributions while others are altogether excluded. As far as withdrawals are concerned, you can only cash in a sum resulting from your bonus that does not exceed 20x the original deposit amount.
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Casino Superlines Software Providers

One thing that many gamblers overlook when considering an online casino is where the games of the given casino come from. Software providers are an essential part of the online gambling industry, developing the games that we all love to play. However, there are many such companies out there, each offering specific titles. Casino Superlines has partnered up with some of the most respected software providers in the business and was able to acquire a substantial library of casino games. Among the list of software providers, we find large names such as NetEnt, NextGen Gaming, Betsoft, Play’n GO, 1×2 Games, Amaya, Thunderkick, Elk Studios and others.
Each of these software providers has a history of creating high-quality slots and table games, allowing customers to have a great time gambling on the Internet. Their names alone should speak volumes regarding the quality of their product and with hundreds of games to choose from, you will be able to play to your heart’s content.

Casino Superlines Banking

Managing your bankroll is an important skill for any gambler and you also need to be able to easily move funds between your personal balance and your casino account. At Casino Superlines, you will not be able to use physical cash and as a result, you will be required to utilize one of the many online payment solutions supported by the casino.
These are available in several different forms – credit cards, eWallets, online banking, prepaid solutions and mobile payments. Typically the minimum deposit, regardless of what method you use, begins at €20. The maximum limits, however, will vary depending on the service.
If you choose to make your deposit with a credit card, you will be able to use the three most popular brands out there – Visa, MasterCard and Maestro. Alternatively, you may also opt to use an eWallet service due to their many advantages. In such a case, you will be able to manage your bankroll with Skrill, Neteller, Qiwi Wallet, and Przelewy24. These allow for instant deposits and quick withdrawals, where supported. Moreover, they also allow you to maintain some degree of anonymity on the Internet.
As far as online banking services are concerned, Casino Superlines gives you a lot of options. More specifically, you will have at your disposal UseMyServices, EPS, PostePay, TrustPay, POLi, EasyEFT, Sofort, GiroPay, Interac Online, and Trustly. While these can make instant deposits, you need to consider that many are regional services and may not be available to you. Prepaid solutions are available in the form of ecoPayz and Paysafecard, whereas mobile payments can be made via Zimpler and Siru Mobile. Alternatively, you may also make a deposit in Bitcoin if you are a crypto enthusiast.
Withdrawals are available, though not via all the above-listed services. You will be able to cash in your balance with Neteller, Visa, Skrill, Qiwi Wallet and Bitcoin. If you made a deposit with a service that does not support withdrawals, the casino will be more than happy to send you your money via Bank Transfer. The processing times will vary significantly between the different withdrawal solutions. Credit card withdrawals can take several days to clear, whereas transactions issued to eWallets will process almost instantly once they are sent. The minimum withdrawal starts at €100 and the maximum goes up to €5,000 per month.
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Casino Superlines Mobile Features

Playing from a mobile device has become the norm for millions of gamblers from all over the globe and online casinos can scarcely afford to ignore this tendency. To this end, they offer fully-functioning mobile versions of their gambling services and Casino Superlines does the same. Should you wish to take your favorite slots and table games with you, the casino gives you the opportunity to play from anywhere that you like. The only requirement is a working smartphone or tablet and a stable Internet connection.
Accessing the mobile version is completely easy and you can do so on just about any device. All you need to do is load the casino website within your browser and continue as you would on a desktop computer. It is that simple. You will be able to navigate any section of the casino and still have the same features at your disposal, namely, promotions, customer support, banking options and the full extent of the gaming library. You will not be limited in any way should you choose to play from your mobile device. In fact, the mobile version also comes with some features to make your experience better on a small-screen device. You will notice that all the menus have been adjusted for better functionality from a smartphone while some games include different user interfaces for improved usability. All in all, the mobile casino does not lack any features and we are sure that you will have a great time.
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Casino Superlines Games

The games selection is the primary reason why you would want to join Casino Superlines. It comes with more than 600 unique titles and each gives you the opportunity to experience something new and exciting. These span multiple different game types, including but not limited to slots, roulette, blackjack, progressive jackpots, live dealer titles and others. There is always something new to play so you will be occupied for quite a long time if you choose to join Casino Superlines. Below, we will outline some of the more popular genres and also make mention of the worthwhile titles that you can play.

Slots

If you are into slots then Casino Superlines certainly has something for you. The majority of the gaming library consists of slot games and there are more than 500 unique titles for you to enjoy. They come in a variety of different forms – video slots, classic slots, with 20 paylines, with 25 paylines, with 40 lines, etc. Regardless of what your preference is, you will find it here without a doubt.
As for the specific titles that you can enjoy, there is a large variety of themes and aesthetics in the slots category. Classic-themed games are always popular with prominent examples including Sevens & Fruits, Fruity Wild, Golden 7 Fruits, and more. Alternatively, you can also have a lot of fun with the animal-themed titles as well. Particularly, Golden Mane, Nuts Commander, Safari Spin, and Birds being among the more interesting. Of course, we also recommend that you try out some of the games with the Asian culture theme, namely Dragon King, Xing Guardian, Dragon Lady, 12 Animals and others.
Slots inspired by mythology are always popular and for good reason. At Casino Superlines, you will be able to play Viking Gods: Thor and Loki, Medusa II, Thunder Zeus, Miss Midas, Zeus the Thunderer II and others. Crime is also a popular theme at Casino Superlines, with notable games like The Slotfather 2, Cosa Nostra, Yakuza, Art of the Heist and others. Of course, these are only a few examples of what awaits you at this online casino. There are hundreds of titles at your disposal and they are only a few clicks away.

Table Games

The table games selection is downright humble when compared to the slots one, yet still, there are some excellent titles awaiting you at Casino Superlines. These come in the form of blackjack, roulette and other table game types.
If roulette is your game of choice, you will have several titles to choose from. These include the classic variations – European and American Roulette – as well as some more interesting ones that put an additional twist on the original roulette formula. The second type can be played in the form of Zero Spin Roulette, Solen Prive Roulette, Micro Roulette, Premium Roulette and more. Regardless of what you choose to play, we are sure that you will have a great time with the available games. The betting limits are quite permissive across the board and you will be able to make good use of your bankroll.
Insofar as blackjack is concerned, there are a handful of variations that you can try your luck on. These are available in the form of American Blackjack, VIP Blackjack, and Classic Blackjack. The more intricate variations come in the form of Blackjack Switch, which allows you to exchange cards between two hands, and Blackjack Surrender where you can easily forfeit your hand and reclaim some of your original stake should things take a turn for the worst. Much like the roulette titles, the available blackjack games are also suitable for both high rollers and casual players on account of the wide betting limits.
Of course, you should also not ignore the casino poker offerings either. While not the most popular game type, casino poker can certainly deliver an excellent gambling experience. At Casino Superlines, you will have the opportunity to several variations of casino poker, namely, Caribbean Poker, Casino Hold’em Poker and Poker Three. If casino poker is not to your liking, then you can also consider Baccarat, Baccarat 777 or Keno.

Progressive Jackpots

If you are looking to one large lump sum all at once, then the only game type that can meet this expectation is the progressive jackpot genre. Featuring large prize pools, these games give you the opportunity to win a small fortune if your luck is good enough. They typically come in the form of slots and this is also the case at Casino Superlines. You will be able to try your luck on some highly entertaining games, such as Dark Harbour Jackpot, Magic Destiny, Fear the Zombies, The Giant, Lagertha, Sunset and more. Even if you do not win the jackpot during your first session, you can be sure that you will have a great time simply spinning the reels.

Live Casino

When it comes to online casino gaming you will rarely find a better experience than in the Live Casino section. Live dealer titles represent the best that the industry has to offer and each game allows you to experience a different classic game type. At Casino Superlines, you have the opportunity to try out some live dealer titles, hosted by professional dealers and offering the genuine land-based casino experience. More specifically, you will be able to play Baccarat, Casino Hold’em, European Roulette, and Blackjack. Usually, live dealer games have slightly higher minimums than the typical virtual title, however, this should not prevent casual players from participating in the fun.
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Casino Superlines Licensing and Regulations

Licensing is a major factor when it comes to choosing an online gambling website. There are only a few ways to determine the legitimacy of a given online casino and you want to make sure that any website you frequent is a legal and trustworthy operation. To this end, you wish to avoid casinos without licensing or from institutions with a bad reputation. Fortunately, Casino Superlines does not fall in either of those categories. The operator behind this casino is licensed by the Government of Curacao, one of the major regulators of online gambling websites outside of Europe. As a result of this, you can be sure that you will have a fair betting experience. In order to acquire this license, Casino Superlines has had to undergo strict audits of the RNG systems to make sure that everything is above board and that the results from games are truly random. With this in mind, you can be sure that when you play at Superlines you will be treated fairly and any winning or losing streak will be solely the product of chance.

Casino Superlines Customer Support

Something that you should take seriously is the customer support available at the casino. Depending on how long you play, there will come a time that you may need to contact customer service to resolve something or to simply ask a question. In such a scenario, you want to make sure that there will be someone on the other side who will take you seriously and provide genuine help.
At Casino Superlines, you will have several methods of contacting customer support. The live chat system is the best means at your disposal. It allows for instant communication in real time and is the most efficient way to reach the support staff. Alternatively, you may also opt-in for phone support. The casino maintains a direct line that you can call, available at +421 2330 560 65. Keep in mind that charges may apply depending on your carrier plan. Finally, if neither of those methods is suitable for you, consider contacting the casino by email. You can forward all of your messages to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) and you expect a response within the next 24 hours.
Additionally, there is also a detailed FAQ section, where you will find the answers to the most commonly asked questions.
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Omni Slots Casino Review

Host to all manner of slots and other games, Omni Slots stands among the most interesting online casinos on the Internet. This brand is owned and operated by DialInvest International N.V., a Curacao-based company that is also licensed by the same government to provide online gambling services to the general public. The operator has been active since 2015 but it has already distinguished itself from the competition, earning critical acclaim from both critics and fans.
The excellence of this casino is partly due to the wonderful selection of games, available to all who register and partly to the worthwhile promotions which users seem to love. Moreover, this online casino accepts payment via a variety of popular transaction services, including credit cards, eWallets, prepaid cards and others. Users can also rely on high-quality customer support during all hours of the day. All of this and more awaits those who register.
In this review, we will discuss all important aspects and features of this operator and give you some insight why this online casino is so beloved by users.

Software Provider

The games on offer are of the highest importance for any online casino and with so many of them trying to outdo each other, the companies running them have little resources to spare for the development of new games. This is where software providers come in. These are companies dedicated to the creation of online casino software, more specifically games. This operator has entered a partnership with some of the most respected software providers in the industry, whose games have been judged to be of the highest quality.
Going into detail, we notice games from companies such as Microgaming, NetEnt, Betsoft, Amatic Industries and several others. Each of the companies mentioned has had a substantial presence in the market for many years and their product is nothing if not excellent. By choosing to deal with so many software providers at once, the operator has secured a massive selection of games for its player base and users get to reap all of the benefits. In terms of quantity, we can safely say that you will need a lot of time to simply browse through the selection, let alone to play through it.
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Available Games

As we have already mentioned above, the gaming library present here is truly exemplary and the sheer number of games is staggering. However, do not let the name of the casino fool you. There is much more here than slot games. Among the selection, you will find plenty of high-quality slots, table games, video poker and more. Since the gaming portfolio is so large, we can safely say that just about everyone will be satisfied with what is on offer.

Slots

Slots enjoy a major following in the online casino world, with millions of players indulging in the entertainment that is spinning the reels. This game genre is known for its amazing diversity and the sheer recreational value that it brings to the table. Slots come in many shapes and sizes, featuring all manner of themes and aesthetics, making them accessible to a wide audience.
Moreover, playing slots will give you immense entertainment and excitement the likes of which you have never seen. The operator is host to a number of very popular games such as the Twighlight-esque title, Immortal Romance, Twin Spin, Warlords: Crystals of Power, Starburst, Pharao’s Riches, Sizzling 777 and many more.

Blackjack

Among the more popular table games, we come across blackjack. This casino game is one of the most engaging of them out there, offering players the opportunity to have the time of their lives. Blackjack is unlike most other games featured at casinos, both online and land-based. Whereas most other games are based on luck, blackjack rewards those who know the game and understand the rules.
With a relatively low house edge, blackjack is as fair as a casino game ever was. The presentation of the games is nothing to scoff at either. Modern games feature high definition graphics, making the game come to life, while typical classy music plays in the background, fully immersing you in the casino atmosphere. This online casino features many of these kinds of games, more specifically Single Deck Blackjack, Punto Banco, European Blackjack, American Blackjack, and other similar titles.

Roulette

Roulette has long been considered the face of casino gambling, being an inseparable part of any gambling hall. Logically, this trend continues to this day in virtual casinos across the globe. This game comes in many styles both classical and new ones, each slightly different than the previous. Today we as users get to enjoy a wide range of games like never before. Moreover, roulette is suitable for most kinds of players, from the high rollers to casual users, who wager their spare change.
Additionally, there are many betting options to choose from, with odds varying between 1:1 to 35:1. Here, you will be spoiled for choice where roulette is concerned, with a variety of options such as VIP European Roulette, Multi Wheel Roulette, Zoom Roulette, Advanced Roulette, and many more await you.

Video Poker

Video poker is another fan-favorite genre and relatively new to the casino scene. Being introduced in the 1970s, this game combines elements from slots and poker to form a one-of-a-kind experience. The selection of video poker games here can be considered somewhat scarce, but what is available is nothing but the best.
Here you will find some of the most beloved styles of the genre, all available at the click of a button. With games such as All American Poker, Deuces Wild, Bonus Poker, Poker Pursuit, or Jacks or Better you cannot go wrong.

Omni Slots Live Casino

Live dealer games are a relatively recent addition to the online casino industry. They were developed in the second half of the previous decade and have been going strong ever since they were released to the general public. This type of game is highly immersive due to the live video stream, featuring a professional dealer hosting a game. Every action you take will be directly reflected on the screen and you will start to think that you are playing at an actual land-based venue.
At this particular online casino you will have the opportunity to play some of the most popular live dealer titles such as Live Blackjack, Live Roulette, Live Casino Hold’em, or Live Baccarat.
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Supported Devices

The operator has put in a lot of effort making the online casino to be as accessible as possible. For this reason, you can load up the virtual casino on just about any computer with a reliable Internet connection.
Basically, all you have to do is go to the casino website and you will be able to play any of the available games without any preparation beforehand. The instant play interface allows you to start any games directly within the window of your browser. However, please keep in mind that you need to have a relatively modern Internet browser since it needs to support Java and Flash Player. As it happens, all commercial browsers, such as Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, Safari, Opera, Mozilla Firefox, etc., come with this functionality built-in, so unless you are running ancient software, you should have no issue in this respect.
Additionally, there is also the option to use your mobile device, e.g. a smartphone or a tablet, to carry out your gaming sessions. The online casino has been very thorough in designing the mobile interface, allowing users to carry out all of their usual activities without ever experiencing any issues. The mobile version of the casino has been adapted to fit on any and all screen sizes, just like the games have been tweaked to be playable on a smartphone or tablet device. As a result, you will be able to enjoy a seamless transition from desktop to mobile. On your mobile device, you will still be able to access all of the usual features such as banking, customer support, promotional offers, etc.
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Omni Slots Casino Payment Methods

Since Omni Slots is an online casino you will not be able to use hard cash to make a deposit. Instead, you will have to make use of one of the many supported online payment services. These are varied and each one will suit your needs differently, but all of them will get the job done. The operator accepts players from a multitude of countries and therefore works in multiple currencies. At this online casino, you can deposit in EUR, NOK, USD and CAD.
Credit cards are a common payment method, not only at online casinos but in general. They give you the opportunity to use your funds for any online service and that includes this one. You can use several of the most popular credit card brands when making a deposit at this online casino, more specifically, Visa, MasterCard, and Diners Club. When using a credit card to deposit, you will notice how the transaction goes through immediately and there is no downtime. Withdrawals, however, are only possible for Visa cardholders.
Another popular deposit method are eWallets. These services allow you to store and move money in an online balance and can be used on any website that supports them. In the case of this online casino, you can utilize Skrill, Neteller and Przelewy24. When you make a deposit using any of these payment solutions, the transaction will clear through instantly. Withdrawals are also possible and will usually take up to 2 business days at most to clear.
Prepaid services are highly preferred by online gamblers due to the anonymity they provide and little setup that is required. Paysafecard is the primary method to use here and you can get one at many retail locations across the globe. Unfortunately, this payment method only goes one way and can be used exclusively for deposits.
Bitcoin has recently risen to high popularity on the Internet. This decentralized online currency will provide you with maximum anonymity and quick transaction times. This virtual casino accepts payment via Bitcoin, but it does not offer withdrawals in the same fashion.
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Omni Slots Casino Customer Support

Customer support is a major aspect of any online service and we are happy to report that this operator has employed a highly competent and dedicated team of experts who will assist you in any way possible should the need arise. There are several different ways that you can contact agents, live chat being the most convenient. This system will allow you to reach the customer service team in a manner of minutes and you can chat with them in real-time. All that will be required of you is to submit your username, name, email and your question.
Alternatively, you could always explain your problem via email. To do this, simply click on the support button located on the lower right corner of your screen and select the email option. From then on, you will be asked to enter your name, email address and your question or issue. The support team strives to respond to all inquiries within 24 hours of receiving them and so far it has not had any problems in that regard.
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Licensing and Restricted Countries

Online gambling may be considered by some individuals to be a shady practice, run by scammers and cheats. This could not be further from the truth. All over the world, there are government institutions responsible for the oversight of online gambling operations. These regulatory bodies audit each company and hold them to high standards, thereby ensuring that everything is above board.
In this case, we see a Curacao-issued license to operate. The Government of Curacao is known for its high demands on companies and the rigidness of its audits. Any company in possession of a Curacao certificate can be fully trusted to provide a safe and fair gambling experience. So far, online casinos licensed by Curacao have had a great track record and this particular operator is no exception to this rule.

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Get stuck into some tip-top bingo online with Blighty Bingo, an unabashedly British gambling site that belongs to the 888 betting empire. As well as giving punters the chance to play a range of live bingo games, the website also stocks a satisfying selection of other games, including slot machines from software companies like NetEnt, IGT, NextGen, Eyecon and more. The casino even welcomes new punters with a £70 bonus for bingo games as well as 10 free spins for the slots.
You don't necessarily need to be from the UK to enjoy this website, although an appreciation of British culture would help! The website is restricted to bettors who reside in the following countries: the United States of America, Spain, France, Italy, Denmark, Belgium, Gibraltar, Antigua, Israel and Turkey.

Part of the 888 Betting Empire

Blighty Bingo is a new brand from a well-known company, Cassava Enterprises Ltd. This company is a subsidiary of the huge 888 gambling corporation which overseas some of the most successful online betting websites in the world. As such, players can rest assured that they are in professional hands when playing the games at this website. Some of the more notable brands operated by Cassava include OinkBingo Casino, Casino On Net and 777 Casino.
Despite the passionately British feel of this casino website, Blighty Bingo is managed remotely in Gibraltar; the website is actually licensed in the British Overseas Territory by the Gibraltar Gambling Commissioner. Punters who are playing from the UK, however, will be protected by the legal services of the UK Gambling Commission. With this in mind, players can be sure that the games and services at this website are safe and fair, while all of the necessary checks and balances are in place to promote responsible gambling.
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Round the Clock Support at Blighty Bingo

If patrons of Blighty Bingo run into some minor trouble at this online casino, they will be able to get in touch with a representative by using the 24/7 live chat support service. Alternatively, the website provides an email address as well as a toll-free telephone number for UK customers only that is operated 7-days a week from 9am to 1am GMT. The site also provides a comprehensive list of FAQs, which is worth checking out before attempting to contact the casino directly.

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For a gambling website that is ostensibly bingo-orientated, there is a very satisfying number of online slot machines at Blighty Bingo. In fact, the casino lays claim to more than 300 slots coming from a diverse range of game makers, with big names like NetEnt, NextGen, IGT and WMS as well as some more obscure studios such as Pariplay, Eyecon, and even some from 888's in-house game development suite.
The most popular slots on offer at the casino include titles like Gonzo's Quest by NetEnt, Siberian Storm by IGT, Amazon Queen by WMS and Foxin' Wins by NextGen. These 5-reel video slots offer a range of different gameplay features – from cascading reels to stacked wilds – as well as varied thematic designs. Punters will also come across a number of video slots that feature characters from the world of TV and film, such as the South Park slot machine by NetEnt, the Bruce Lee slot machine from WMS and the Titanic slot machine by Bally software. Slot machine purists will also come across a number of retro themed games with the likes of Bars and Bells by Amaya and Jackpot 6000 from NetEnt.
Many of the slot machines in the Blighty Bingo games lobby belong to some of the biggest names in the e-gaming software industry. However, there are some slots online at this casino that aren't as easily recognisable and familiar as others. There are a number of games from 888's in-house studio, for example, many of which can only be found at casinos which belong to the betting corporation. These games offer a range of new themes and interesting gameplay variations with titles like Love From London, Jewel Thief and Jungle Goals Jackpot.
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Bingo Balls

Of course, Blighty Bingo offers up a number of online bingo games for punters to enjoy. The live bingo rooms available include 52-ball, 75-ball and 90-ball variations, providing a decent amount of variety for bingo connoisseurs. Some of the bingo rooms online at this casino have progressive jackpot prize kitties for some huge potential winnings. One thing that this casino lacks is a full range of classic casino games since there is no option for patrons of the site to play online roulette or online blackjack, let alone live versions of the classic gambling games.

Plenty of Ways to Pay

When it comes to creating an account with Blighty Bingo, customers will be asked to choose their preferred currency from the following options: Great British Pounds, Euros, US Dollars and Canadian Dollars. As the deposit and withdrawal methods, the website presents a good range of popular payment options such as Visa, Mastercard and Maestro credit and debit cards as well as online methods like PayPal, Neteller, EntroPay and Paysafecard.
The limits of this casino are quite generous for casual punters who simply want to enjoy some low-rolling slot machine action. That is because the minimum amount that a player can fund their account with is just £5. The maximum deposit limits are £2,000 per day, £3,000 per week and £10,000 per month. The withdrawal limits aren't quite as generous to casual players since the minimum cash out is set at £35 with maximum limits of £1,000 per day, £2,000 per week and £3,000 per month.
The time frames for withdrawals differ depending on the chosen method. The quickest option is a withdrawal via Mastercard with a total processing time of 3-5 business days. The longest method is a wire transfer, which could take a total of 7-10 business days.
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Bingo Bonus Boost

One of the downsides of a bingo-first casino site like Blighty Bingo is that they tend to prioritise bingo players when it comes to the welcome promotion. This website sticks to the trend by offering £70 worth of free bingo tickets whenever new players make a first deposit of £10. That said, the casino will throw in a round of 10 free spins for the slot machines – it may not sound like a lot but it is better than nothing.
The plus side to this particular casino welcome bonus is that there are no wagering requirements whatsoever, meaning that any winnings made with the free bingo tickets and free spins will be eligible for withdrawal.

Spin on the Move at Blighty Bingo Mobile

Blighty Bingo is available to access across a range of devices, from desktop computers to mobile phones and tablets. Punters with a handheld device powered by Android, Windows or iOS should be able to access the mobile casino to play mobile-optimised slot machines by NetEnt, IGT, Eyecon, NextGen and more.
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The Final Verdict

Blighty Bingo is yet another offering from the highly respectable and successful casino operator, Cassava Enterprises. As part of the 888 group, prospective punters can be fairly certain that the service will be professional and legally sound, something that is backed up with licenses from the UKGC and GGC authorities.
Admittedly, the website could provide a more attractive welcome bonus for slot machine players so that they can better enjoy the large and varied range of online video slots catalogue.

Bonus Blackjack: Bonus Blackjack bets include a main bet and a side bet. Bonus Blackjack odds and payouts for the main bet are the same as in classic blackjack. In the side bet, the player has the option to wager on whether the player, the dealer or both receive a natural blackjack. If a 21 happens, the player wins a 15 to 1 payout. Players should read through all the Bonus Blackjack rules before playing a hand for real money.
Pontoon: The UK version of Pontoon calls a natural blackjack (two cards equaling 21) a “pontoon”. The next-best hand is the 5-card trick, which is a five-card hand totaling 21 or less. To compensate, if the dealer and player have the same hand, the dealer wins.
Spanish 21: Also known as “Australian Pontoon”, Spanish 21 uses four to eight “Spanish decks”, meaning the decks have the 10-rank cards taken out. This gives the casino an extra edge, so a number of favorable rules are added for the player. For instance, a five-card 21 pays 3 to 2, while a six-card 21 pays 2 to 1, and a seven-card 21 pays 3 to 1. Also, if the player and dealer each receive a 21, the player wins.
Match Play 21: Match Play 21 uses the Spanish deck, but has a number of exotic payouts. A twenty-one built with 777 pays 3 to 1, while a 678 hand pays 3 to 1. A Match Play 21 pays 40 to 1. The inclusion of rules for the 777 and 678 requires different strategies because it means you’ll be playing hands you otherwise wouldn’t want (13-14-15).
Perfect Pairs: The main bet in Perfect Pairs is similar to classic blackjack, but this game has a side bet which pays more for matching cards. If a player receives a pair, a small payout occurs. If the pair has the same color, then the payout is higher. If the pair is suited, it triggers the biggest payout. Obviously, Perfect Pairs is played with 6 or 8 decks, to provide more opportunities for winning side bets.
Blackjack Switch: Switch deals two hands and lets a player switch cards between the two hands. This is a huge advantage, though players have to remember that a bet is placed on each hand, so strategy requires balancing out the needs of both hands. If the dealer receives a 22 against the player’s 21 or less, it is a push. If the player receives a natural blackjack, their hand beats the dealer’s 22.
Face-Up 21: Also known as “Double Exposure” in some casinos, Face-Up 21 allows the player to see both of the dealer’s cards. That’s a tremendous advantage, so the dealer receives several advantages to compensate. The main advantage is the dealer wins any ties, except when the player has a natural blackjack.
European Blackjack: The dealer stands on soft 17. The player may double on hard 9 through hard 11 only. The dealer doesn’t take a hole card, so the player loses doubles and splits when the dealer receives a blackjack. 배트맨토토 모바일
Super Fun 21: Sometimes called Super 21 in online casinos, Super Fun 21 began as a variant of blackjack in Las Vegas casinos. This game has several hands that are automatic winners. For instance, a 6-card hand worth 20 or less is an automatic winner. A 5-card hand worth 21 or less pays 2 to 1, though this hand does not win if it’s after a double.
Progressive Blackjack: Progressive Blackjack offers an accumulated jackpot, which is played as a side bet. The main bet plays much like classic blackjack.
Multi-Hand Blackjack: Allows the gambler to play multiple hands of blackjack at once. This can be 3 hands, 10 hands, or 25 hands. Many varieties of multi-hand blackjack exist because any of the variants above might have a multi-hand version designed for it.

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REVIEW

Jackpot City Casino first went live in 1998. This makes it one of the more elderly and renowned online casinos currently on the internet. They offer mobile gameplay at their domain.
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Jackpot City Casino is instantly recognisable. This online casino site has been around for years and has barely changed its appearance. Why change something that is winning?
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Microgaming provide the power for this online casino site. Jackpot City Casino is available to play as either a downloadable software casino, or in your browser as a flash based, instant play casino site. Jackpot City Casino currently holds a license awarded to it by the Lotteries & Gaming Authority of Malta.

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Customer support is simply superb at Jackpot City Casino. Players in the United Kingdom, Australia, Austria, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Spain and Switzerland, can all contact customer services via a toll-free telephone number if they wish. Any player living elsewhere, can still contact customer support by phone, though they will have to use a toll-charged number. You can also reach customer support via live chat and an online web e-form.

The genre of games available to play

What games do you play? That is the serious question. Fortunately, there is a large number of titles that you may find appealing. Such games include slot machines, baccarat, blackjack, cyberstud poker, pai gow poker, European and American roulette, and host of video poker games, craps, sic bo, keno, and scratch card games. You can also find mobile games, which include titles such as baccarat, blackjack, roulette, keno, slots and video poker at this online casino domain.

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No online casino would be complete without a big selection of online slots for you to enjoy. Fortunately, there are plenty of them. Because they are all licensed by Microgaming, you have got some of the finest online slots in the gaming world at your disposal.
Over 300 slot machine games are present at Jackpot City Casino, with classic titles such as Pharaoh’s Fortune, Cool Buck, Diamond 777 and Peek a Boo, just some of those names. The biggest video slot hits include Avalon 2, Thunderstruck, Big Kahuna: Stash of the Titans, Tomb Raider: The Secret of the Sword, and the Hitman slot.
Jackpot City Casino also carries a range of MegaSpin slots, such as Double Magic, Fantastic 777, High 5 and Major Millions. Fruit machines that can be played over at Jackpot City Casino include Cash ‘n Curry, Game On, Pub Fruity and Who Wants to be a Stallionaire; whilst the top progressive jackpot slots include King Cashalot, Cash Splash, Treasure Nile, Mega Moolah, Major Millions, and the ever popular Dark Knight slot machine.

Nice Exclusive Welcome offers run at the site

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There aren’t really any other promotions and offers available at Jackpot City Casino. There is also no refer-a-friend bonus, which is rather bizarre.

Is there a loyalty VIP club?

Jackpot City Casino does run a comp points program, just like many Microgaming powered online casinos. The comp points program at the online casino site will see players pick up $1 for every 200 comp points that they acquire. This isn’t as flash as some other domains. Comp points are earned by playing your favourite online casino games.

Overview and last thoughts

Not everything is 100% perfect. Age is on Jackpot City Casino’s side, and given its longevity, you know that is a trustworthy place to play. The online casino also picks up big points for its simplistic design and effective navigation system.
As far as the software goes, this online casino site is carrying the best slots and games, by the best developer. Jackpot City Casino does offer a wide range of payment methods, and there are plenty of customisable languages/currency options for players across the globe.
Customer support is absolutely terrific, and no gamer will ever be short of something to play when gaming at this online casino site. The gamer is left a little deflated after picking up their welcome bonus, as there doesn’t appear to be too many more offers forthcoming, and the comp points program is a little heavy.
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What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter tabletop games projects that are either:

newly posted in the past 7 days, or
ending in the next 7 days (starting tomorrow) and have at least a fighting chance of being funded.

All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (But the occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between 12:00am and 12:00pm PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info	Status	Backers	Avg Pledge	Ending	Comments
Feudum: The Queen's Army Foil the Queen's treachery and rise to power in this solo player variant of the game Feudum! (Has currently earned $56,316 of $15,000)	375%	1402	$40	08-21	kicktraq
Chess Workshops for the Underserved We are providing educational and fun workshops for the underserved youth in our community. (Has currently earned $531 of $100)	531%	26	$20	08-21	kicktraq #take2
1879 London Adventure and Sourcebook This is for the art & printing budget for two books already written and laid out, an adventure set in London and the London Sourcebook. (Has currently earned $8,374 of $7,500)	111%	124	$68	08-21	kicktraq #rpg
Dungeons of Doom III - Dragon Slayers - Star Hat Miniatures Delvers Lost in the Dungeons of Doom 3: Heroic scale fantasy miniatures sculpted by hand and cast in metal for RPGs and Tabletop Games. (Has currently earned $12,144 NZD of $1,000 NZD)	1214%	101	$120 NZD	08-21	kicktraq #minis
Espionage: The Card Game Espionage is a 4-8 player illustrated party card game based around secrets, politics and ruling the world. (Has currently earned £3,570 of £3,500)	102%	60	£60	08-21	kicktraq
Hands in the Sea - 2nd Edition A card driven wargame inspired by "A Few Acres of Snow". Players take over the role of Rome and Carthage, during the First Punic War. (Has currently earned $44,951 of $20,000)	224%	738	$61	08-21	kicktraq #2.0 1st ed
Ancient Dice: 50,000 Year Old Dice Prehistoric dice, handcrafted from Ancient Kauri, the world's oldest wood - perfectly preserved since The Stone Age! (Has currently earned £15,419 of £1,000)	1541%	745	£21	08-22	kicktraq #dice
Right Or Racist - Hilarious Trivia Game About Stereotypes The Party Trivia Card Game About Stereotypes (Has currently earned $1,692 of $500)	338%	68	$25	08-22	kicktraq #take2
Blind Wizard Brawl Blind Wizard Brawl is a phygital game (hybrid tabletop game which requires a free app) about bluffing your spells to victory! (Has currently earned £2,447 of £2,900)	84%	125	£20	08-22	kicktraq
VISITOR in Blackwood Grove A mysterious Visitor has crashed in Blackwood Grove. Race to figure out the secret rule as the Agent or the Kid in this induction game! (Has currently earned $29,777 of $9,000)	330%	1321	$23	08-22	kicktraq
Gameception - The Game Within A Game Enhance your game night by playing a game while you play other games. Intrigued? Learn more... (Has currently earned $9,364 of $2,500)	374%	393	$24	08-23	kicktraq
Ogrezine - The Ogre Magazine Ogrezine is a collection of Ogre articles curated by line editor Drew Metzger. Also, we have some minis. (Has currently earned $11,320 of $1,000)	1132%	810	$14	08-23	kicktraq
Polite Society: The Jane Austen Board Game The ultimate game for literary nerds and board gamers alike. "Why not seize the pleasure at once?" (Has currently earned $41,760 AUD of $18,000 AUD)	231%	867	$48 AUD	08-24	kicktraq
Legacy: Life Among the Ruins 2nd Edition A tabletop RPG about rebuilding after the apocalypse, now funding its second edition. Tell your saga of rediscovery across generations! (Has currently earned £37,076 of £8,000)	463%	1017	£36	08-24	kicktraq #rpg
Super Chibi Round 3 ROUND 3! It's time for Super Chibi Round 3, This time with a touch of fantasy. (Has currently earned $1,574 of $900)	174%	58	$27	08-25	kicktraq #minis
PALADIN: Warriors of Charlemagne Charge into the exciting medieval world as a paladin of the great Charlemagne! Based on the award-winning game King Arthur Pendragon! (Has currently earned $58,880 of $10,000)	588%	1048	$56	08-25	kicktraq
Container: 10th Anniversary Jumbo Edition! A reprint of the classic economic game "Container" by Mercury Games! This classic returns in a 10th Anniversary Jumbo Edition! (Has currently earned $88,396 CAD of $12,500 CAD)	707%	853	$104 CAD	08-25	kicktraq #2.0 1st ed
Rise of Cthulhu - Final Stock Sale Rise of Cthulhu is a strategic card game of influence and horror for 2 players. (Has currently earned $7,474 of $2,000)	373%	173	$43	08-25	kicktraq
Cover Me Do you have what it takes to predict the new trends in fashion? Build the best portfolio and become the most famous magazine! (Has currently earned €4,803 of €7,500)	64%	70	€69	08-25	kicktraq
Cauldron: Bubble and Boil Board Game Cauldron: Bubble and Boil is a board game of hexing, gardening and potion brewing. May the best (or worst?) witch or warlock win! (Has currently earned $9,899 of $14,700)	67%	184	$54	08-25	kicktraq #take2
Stonehaven Adventurers 2017 We're producing a diverse group of 28mm miniature heroes for role-playing, dungeon-crawling, dragon-slaying, and tabletop wargaming. (Has currently earned $21,644 of $3,000)	721%	317	$68	08-25	kicktraq #minis
Ninjitsu! - the Ninja card game for all ages A gorgeous game of bluffing and subterfuge for 2-5 sneaky ninjas. The standalone sequel to the hit game Scuttle! (Has currently earned $80,845 of $3,000)	2694%	2480	$33	08-26	kicktraq
Final Boss: The card game A card game where players compete against each other to defeat the Final Boss. (Has currently earned €17,240 of €9,000)	191%	523	€33	08-27	kicktraq
CRIT KIT - Dice Tray and Portable Dungeon CRIT KIT - Dice Tray and Portable Dungeon with modular walls. (Has currently earned $2,186 of $2,500)	87%	18	$121	08-27	kicktraq #bling
Before The Earth Explodes: A retro sci-fi card game. Use clever tactics and intuition to do whatever it takes to claim the glory for saving humanity...BEFORE THE EARTH EXPLODES! (Has currently earned $7,642 of $6,000)	127%	298	$26	08-27	kicktraq

New This Week

Project Info	Status	Backers	Avg Pledge	Ending	Comments
Adventure Game Mats Kickstarter Exclusive: 10 Fantasy designed Adventure game mat that can be used for your campaign or gaming purposes. (Has currently earned $1,469 of $1,250)	117%	19	$77	09-20	#bling
Allegiance - Official Trading Card Game Gain Allegiance with a nation's warriors, and they will embrace orders and lead you to victory in this collectable trading card game. (Has currently earned $588 of $85,000)	0%	6	$98	09-12	#hmm
Avertigos- A 3D Boardgame with Flying Sail-Ship Miniatures A unique Board Game with moddable Sail-Ships engaging in innovative 3D Tactical manoeuvres on the Table top. (Has currently earned $48,525 of $102,481)	47%	178	$273	09-24
BIDBIDBID - a funny auction card game An auction card game with strategy and funny for 2-4 players.5 minutes to learn,happy to play. (Has currently earned $265 CAD of $10,000 CAD)	2%	8	$33 CAD	09-17
Biggest Baddest Baddie Card Game Have you ever wondered what it would be like to control a fire-breathing giant chicken that has on steel armor? Sure you have! (Has currently earned $259 of $3,500)	7%	7	$37	09-14
Boardom Busters: 4 Games Of Skill Returns! We are bringing back this small collection of skill games for everyone to enjoy! (Has currently earned $209 of $25)	836%	32	$7	08-20
BraveGuard Heroic adventures await in this exciting fantasy world. Guide your Hero on a path to become the Champion! (Has currently earned $10,429 of $37,000)	28%	154	$68	09-14
Chronicles of the Wayfarer - The Lawgiver, Unmasked Boyd's Toys is producing a high quality and very detailed resin bust to help support our ongoing project, Chronicles of the Wayfarer. (Has currently earned $1,473 of $1,000)	147%	33	$45	08-28	#bling #minis
Crokinole 2018 Beech Hardwood 2-4 Player Dexterity Game This great dexterity game is the #4 Family Game of All Time & normally costs $300 or more! "Get a high-quality board at 1/3 the price!" (Has currently earned $13,745 of $30,000)	45%	118	$116	09-06
Darkholds: Ancient Barrows In the dark holds, YOU command heroes to gather treasure, fight creatures of darkness and gain the ultimate prize - life after death... (Has currently earned £61,916 of £150,000)	~~41%~~	~~733~~	~~£84~~	~~09-05~~
Death Path - Card & Dice Game from Zlurpcast Death Path is multi-player card & dice game set in the near future in which Subjects are forced to navigate through a fearsome maze. (Has currently earned $6,017 of $10,000)	60%	99	$61	09-14
Digital Dungeon Rooms 50+ Assorted Beautiful Detailed Digital PNG Catacomb, Sewer & Dungeon Rooms for Fantasy RPG. Available for 25mm, 28mm and 32mm scales. (Has currently earned $3,647 AUD of $750 AUD)	486%	59	$62 AUD	09-07	#bling
Era of Battles Era of Battles: Alliances, Apocalypse, and Exodus. These are strategy card games that take place in a high fantasy setting. (Has currently earned $745 of $10,000)	7%	8	$93	10-03
Eschaton: Sigils of Ruin An expansion for the cult strategy deck-building game. (Has currently earned $2,219 of $3,500)	63%	89	$25	09-18	#expansion base game
Expedition: The Horror The first expansion for Expedition: The Roleplaying Card Game. New mechanics, enemies and abilities inspired by Cthulhu! (Has currently earned $7,171 of $7,000)	102%	243	$30	09-16	#expansion base game
Fatcats: a fun, family card game with a sinister twist. Fatcats is a strategic card game of temporary alliances. Team up to rule the city...but be careful: it's every fatcat for themselves. (Has currently earned $2,499 of $8,000)	31%	56	$45	09-15
Forager - Tabletop Napoleonic Skirmish Game - Stand to Games A fast fun Napoleonic tabletop skirmish game where players command several individual characters to complete scenarios and play games. (Has currently earned £3,820 of £4,500)	84%	101	£38	10-13
Frills & Fauna: Overlords Frills & Fauna is back and this time we're offering a more sinister selection of miniatures for your pleasure. (Has currently earned £714 of £300)	238%	19	£38	08-31	#minis
Heroes of Karth: Deathmatch™ A fantasy deck-building strategy card game for 2-4 players based on the Heroes of Karth™ book series. (Has currently earned $1,081 CAD of $2,000 CAD)	54%	13	$83 CAD	10-13
Lazy Gamer Tables These tables are great for map storage and usage for any tabletop game. Also fits most standard board games. (Has currently earned $2,896 of $20,000)	14%	13	$223	09-16	#bling
Legends of Draxia: Corrupted Mana Expansion New Spells, Buildings, and Characters bring direct PvP action into the fantasy-themed resource management card game, Legends of Draxia (Has currently earned $4,490 of $2,500)	179%	70	$64	10-02	#expansion base game
Ogre Cheerleaders Ogre Cheerleaders: Cheering as good as they smell! A fun, light-hearted, set-collection game for 2(ish)* players. (Has currently earned $923 of $3,600)	25%	43	$21	09-14
Omnitray: The Modular Board Game & Tabletop Player Organiser Omnitray is a fully customisable, modular board game and tabletop gaming player aid that assists you with a range of your gaming needs (Has currently earned £15,752 of £1,500)	1050%	273	£58	09-05	#bling
Penguin Brawl: Heroes of Pentarctica Summon a penguin, arm it to the teeth, and lay waste to your enemies in this fast paced action card game created to make people smile. (Has currently earned £5,671 of £12,000)	47%	267	£21	09-21
QST - THE TABLETOP GAME SUBSCRIPTION BOX! QST is the subscription tabletop game box that delivers a BRAND NEW, NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN game crafted by CREATIVE SUPERSTARS every month! (Has currently earned $23,026 of $600,000)	3%	129	$178	09-29
Radiant - A War in Three Ages The Radiant Cycle has turned again—the War of Three Ages is upon us. Control the beautiful land of Perim with trick-taking battles. (Has currently earned $12,054 of $8,200)	147%	298	$40	09-14	#take3
Roil: The Strategy Card Game of Noble Power Buidling A family friendly strategy card game for 2-5 players. Build your court, steal cards, and allow cruel fate to brutalize your opponents. (Has currently earned $791 of $4,500)	17%	12	$66	09-18
Samurai Vassal - The Card Game A fun and fast card game that mimics how samurais competed against each other by earning their daimyo’s trust in Feudal Japan. (Has currently earned HK$8,540 of HK$30,000)	28%	41	HK$208	09-28
Spirit Realms - Tengoku-SR Tengoku-SR is an epic fast paced turn based family friendly card game where players create armies, defend forts & capture Thrones. (Has currently earned $140 of $10,000)	1%	3	$47	10-01
Superhero: 2044 RPG with Miniatures Description to come. (Has currently earned $929 of $100,000)	0%	17	$55	10-15	#rpg
Swords in the Stone - Arthurian themed d6 Dice! Whoso pulleth out these dice from this dice bag is rightwise king born of all England! These d6s are 19mm and full of Arthurian theme! (Has currently earned $3,736 of $2,200)	169%	117	$32	09-02	#dice
Tanto Cuore: Winter Romance Winter Romance introduces Butlers, romance & new game mechanics to Tanto Cuore! Ignite the fires of love to escape the cold of winter! (Has currently earned $60,531 of $20,000)	302%	472	$128	09-14	#expansion base game
Time Machine Death Race! Start up your machines and load the booster packs.It's time to fight your way through all the checkpoints and return victorious or die! (Has currently earned $419 of $10,000)	4%	9	$47	09-24
Unstable Unicorns A strategic card game that will destroy your friendships...but in a good way. (Has currently earned $220,256 of $10,000)	2202%	4909	$45	09-15
Vanagard Vanagard is a collaborative table-top story telling game. (Has currently earned $4,271 CAD of $12,700 CAD)	33%	114	$37 CAD	09-14
Vegas Wits & Wagers Turn your living room into a Vegas casino. Wits & Wagers is history's most award-winning party game, and it just got better. (Has currently earned $14,406 of $30,000)	48%	360	$40	09-08	#expansion base game
Wanted Earth Miniatures Board Game An action packed miniatures board game for 1-7 players. Play as heroes defending Earth or alien races trying to take it over! (Has currently earned $18,654 of $49,000)	38%	213	$88	09-20	#take2
Wizards' Towers Wizards' Towers is a family game about building tower from wooden elements and casting spells to attack other players towers. (Has currently earned £764 of £6,000)	12%	21	£36	09-14

Looking for more comprehensive Kickstarter gaming information? Check out the meta listings on BGG, explore Kicktraq's data-driven views, or, of course, Kickstater's Tabletop Category.

Footnotes

#hmm means that something about the project seems a little off. Buyer beware kinda thing.
#lolwut is reserved for projects that seem like trainwrecks. Check 'em out for amusement.
#take tags are for projects that have been restarted for some reason, with the number indicating what iteration we're currently on.
Did I miss something? Particularly stuff that might go in the Comments column? Let me know and I'll add it in.

Tip Jar - Keep me in Kickstarter money.

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Overview and last thoughts

Kickstarter Roundup: Aug 20, 2017 | 25 Ending Soon (incl: Ninjitsu!, Feudum: The Queen's Army, & VISITOR in Blackwood Grove) & 38 New This Week (incl: Unstable Unicorns, Darkholds: Ancient Barrows, & Tanto Cuore: Winter Romance)

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Ending Soon

New This Week

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